Trial and Error
by SuddenlySandi
Summary: Forks holds a dark secret and Edward is sent there to find out what it is...only he gets pulled into the darkness as he comes to understand the evilness buried there. Bella is determined to keep him in the dark to save herself and her friends. All Human
1. Chapter 1

**Stephenie Meyer owns the Twilight Characters**

**1**

I was surprised when the doorbell rang, who rings the fucking doorbell anymore? People in Forks knock. I walked slowly from the kitchen, purposely making the offender wait. Just as I reached for the doorknob it rang again. "What the hell," I muttered to myself.

I opened the door with as much attitude as I could muster to find a good looking stranger looking hesitantly back at me. I automatically tensed and waited for him to speak.

"Hi, I was told you have a room I could rent," he said sounding nervous.

"And who told you?" I pressed, wondering exactly where this good looking foreigner came from.

"At the courthouse," he said quickly and put forth his hand for me to shake. "I'm Edward Cullen; I'm trying a case and I need a place to stay."

I smiled after looking him up and down and nodded with my head to follow me outback. We walked to the garage and I turned to find him looking at my ass. I raised my eyebrows and he only smiled with an adorable crooked grin. I headed up the stairs in front of him and knew he was taking advantage of the view so I walked slowly to accommodate him.

We entered a narrow hallway and I pointed to a door on the left. "That's my room, this one will be yours," I said, and unlocked the door.

"You're not a Swan?" he asked, and I couldn't tell which answer he wanted to hear.

"I'm Bella Swan."

"And you live over the garage?" he asked with a surprised tone.

"I'm twenty-five Mr. Cullen; would you have me stay in my childhood room?"

"Are you a student?" he asked to insult me further.

"Yes, I'm home for the summer, but I am getting my masters in Library Science."

His mouth fell open and he laughed loudly. "People actually aspire to be a Librarian?"

"Well, I dated a man named Dewey, and he was such a good fuck I fell in love with the whole decimal system," I said trying to sound serious. He gave me an odd look and I finally motioned toward the room. "Do you want it or not?"

"Oh, yeah, I won't be around much and my hours will be irregular, is that okay?"

"I'm not your mother Mr. Cullen_, _comeas you see fit," I said, and turned to leave.

"Is there any paperwork I need to fill out?" he asked sounding so lawyery.

"You're in Forks; unpack your shit and show up for dinner at six to meet my parents." When I got to the door I turned to look at him with a smile. "Welcome to wonderland, Mr. Cullen, you just fell down the rabbit hole."

I walked outside and stood on the small balcony overlooking the yard and the dense forest behind the house. I pulled out a cigarette and took a long drag before tossing it to the wet ground. It rained pretty much every day. I hated this town and everyone in it. It pulled on me like a weight toward my grave. Nothing ever changed and the sameness drove me insane.

The door opened and Mr. Cullen stepped onto the balcony with me, pulling out his own cigarette. Now he was something different and I leaned against the railing and looked at him.

"What?" he finally asked.

"You can't smoke in the room, my mother's a health freak," I explained.

"Ah, now I see why you live out here," he laughed and I gave him a coy smile.

"And other reasons," I said softly and his eyes locked on mine. "I'm pretty vocal during sex."

It didn't faze him at all and he quickly responded, "So, if I hear you calling on God, I shouldn't assume you are praying?"

"You never know, the forests around here hold a lot of secrets Mr. Cullen. Demons can come at anytime."

"Edward," he said as he continued to stare. "I'm only Mr. Cullen in court. So, are these personal demons or the kind that find their way into everyone?"

I pushed off the railing and headed down the stairs as he stayed to smoke. "You'll see, Edward. You will curse the day you ever drove into Forks, I can guarantee it."

I knew he wouldn't take my warning seriously. He was from the city where your entire life revolves around a square mile radius. You shop by your house, you attend a church close by, and you drink at a local bar, but city people think their lives are so much fuller because of the size of the population. In Forks you are surrounded by the dark forests, the raging sea, and the small communities dotting the area. It was the perfect place for secrets.

He remained in his room the rest of the day and I informed my mother of the new tenant. She went upstairs to introduce herself and make sure he was invited to dinner. I didn't tell her I had already invited him. I didn't tell her we even had a conversation. It wouldn't have mattered anyway. She only would have apologized for anything I said and made the whole evening uncomfortable.

I got my small carving knife and sat in the small art studio in the back of the garage and began cutting some leather. I was working diligently when I heard Edward coming down the stairs. I looked up at the clock to see it was dinner time. I felt a sense of anticipation for the display I was sure would be set up for Edward's behalf. We would be the perfect God fearing family, taking in the stranger to break bread with. I chuckled and walked over to the large sink to wash my hands.

I entered the house to find my father, still dressed in his police uniform, for what purpose I wasn't sure. My mother was wearing a fucking apron, like June Cleaver, as she set bowls of food onto the table. I shook my head and sat at my usual spot.

"Are you settled in?" I asked Edward, and he nodded politely.

"It is a very comfortable room," he observed, and I knew he was playing the game too.

My mother finally sat and folded her hands in front of her. "Who would like to say grace?" she asked, like it was a regular occurrence at our table. My father turned pale at the thought she may call on him, so I quickly spoke up.

"I would love to pray," I said, and without waiting for everyone to bow appropriately I launched right into the offering. "God, bless the food, which seems to be plentiful for some reason today. Bless the family residing here, the Swan's, in case you can't remember. And of course our new guest, who has no idea what is headed for him. Amen."

Edward chuckled and my mother glared at me in anger. I reached for a bowl of mashed potatoes and slopped a mountain onto my plate before passing them to Edward. My father looked at him for a moment and finally asked, "Are you here to defend Jacob Black?"

My mouth went dry and I tried to stop my hands from shaking. Of course a new lawyer would be here for the biggest trial this county has ever seen.

"Bella you know Jake quite well," my father said, and Edward turned to look at me.

"Sure, we grew up together, but I haven't seen him in quite awhile," I said before stuffing a roll into my mouth.

"I met with Jake this morning," Edward said, and I tried to act nonchalant and uninterested. I felt like he was watching me and I didn't like it. He didn't know a thing about me and I didn't like the inference that I was lying to him. Of course I was totally lying to him, but I didn't like him acting knowingly.

My mother felt the need to explain and I sighed loudly as she spoke. "Bella is an artist and Jake helped her get her things in stores in Santa Fe and Albuquerque."

"An artist?" Edward said, and raised his eyebrows at me.

"Oh yes, she has sold sculptures all over the country and her jewelry is so unique," my mother bragged.

"I'm amazed you find the time, what with the Library Science masters program and all," he said with a slight smirk on his face.

I took hold of my plate and stood to leave. I leaned over to speak into his ear as I passed, "You just cost yourself the best sex you ever had."

"I seriously doubt that," he laughed, and I felt intense anger rising, not sure if he was insinuating he had better or I would end up giving in to him.

I tossed my plate in the sink and left the house. I pulled out a cigarette and headed back to my studio. I threw on a pair of coveralls and lit the welding torch to work on an iron sculpture. I was only aware of the hissing from the welder and when I felt a hand on my shoulder I jumped in fear.

Edward was standing there with a plate of food and held it out for me. "I'm sorry; I didn't mean to make you lose your appetite."

"Your opinion is overinflated," I assured him, but he held the plate closer and I finally relented and took it.

"So if I wanted to get to know the locals, where would I go?" he asked, and I knew he was digging for information on Jake, not looking for company.

"Sam's place," I told him. "It's a bar on the 110 highway. I could take you if you like?" I asked him.

"Yeah, that would be great. What time would you like to go?"

"We'll leave here around ten," I said, and turned back to my sculpture.

I wasn't worried about people telling Edward about my relationship with Jake, nobody knew we were ever together. I hadn't gone near the jail since he had been arrested for the murder of Mr. Banner. I was content to sit back and let justice take its course.

I showered and dressed in a tight shirt and a short skirt with a pair of moccasin boots I had designed. Edward was waiting on the deck, smoking a cigarette, dressed in tight jeans and a v neck tee. He looked hot and I was determined to make him work a little for my attention.

We drove in silence to the club and as soon as I walked through the door I parted from him. He headed to the bar and sat on a stool next to some other Quileute men so I headed to the dance floor. Jessica ran out to the floor to join me and we danced for close to an hour. I was sweating and thirsty so I headed to the bar for some club soda.

Edward was now sitting at the side of the bar and I caught his eyes staring at me. He raised his glass and I gave him a very slight smile before looking away.

"Hey Sam, can I have a club soda?" I asked, and watched him grab a glass and come back to where I was standing.

"Your drinks are being paid for this evening," Sam said, and my hand froze in mid air before taking the glass.

I looked over at Edward and he raised his glass to me. I took mine from Sam's hand and headed to the end of the bar and planted myself on the stool next to Edward.

"Just so you know, I don't drink alcohol, so you won't be able to get me drunk to get anywhere with me," I said as I nudged his shoulder with mine.

"Yeah, and you don't smoke either," he laughed and I felt my heart skip a beat. He was too observant and it had me shaken.

Anyone could look down from the balcony and see all the cigarettes with one draw taken tossed around, but who does that? I suddenly felt a bit exposed and had to admit the guy had me freaked out.

"So, have you heard all the secrets from the interesting citizens of Forks?" I asked and then took a drink of my club soda.

"I'm hearing quite a bit, who's Leah Clearwater?" he asked, and I tried not to show any reaction.

"Shouldn't your client talk to you about who he beds?"

"I just want to talk to her before I see Jake again; do you know where she lives?" He was watching me closely and I really wished I had a glass of whiskey.

"God, you're such an idiot," I said shaking my head. "It's a small town; you don't need me pointing things out."

He didn't respond and simply watched me for a moment. I wanted to take another sip from my glass but I was afraid my hand would be shaking too much. He finally said, "I'm ready to leave whenever you're ready."

I stood and walked in front of him out of the club and to his car. He handed me the keys since he had been drinking and I chuckled at the thought of how much my father would like him. I wanted to be done with Edward Cullen, regardless of how cute he was, and felt he was here to bring nothing but chaos to our small town.

We pulled into the driveway and when I shut off the engine and held out his keys he took my hand instead. "I want to ask one question," he said, and I instantly pulled my hand away from his. "Did you know Mr. Banner?"

"It's a small town, everyone knows fucking everybody," I said as I opened the door and climbed out of the car.

He quickly exited from his side and came around the front to block my retreat. "What is it about the man nobody is telling me? I'm getting a weird vib and nobody admits the guy has any faults. A perfect man doesn't get murdered in his sleep for no reason. He wasn't robbed, only…"

He suddenly stopped talking and I didn't ask what he was holding close to the vest, I simply pushed him out of my way and continued up the stairs. He ran after me and quickly added, "I need an assistant, do you know anyone willing to take notes and assist me with errands?"

I turned to face him and wondered if this was the break I was looking for. This would get me into the jail and up to date on what evidence they had against Jake. I watched his eyes as the bore into mine, trying desperately to see what I was trying so hard to keep hidden. He looked…frustrated at my cold exterior and I actually relaxed a bit.

"I can help you, I have the librarian experience after all," I teased.

He looked me up and down and asked, "Do you have decent clothes for court?"

"You mean crotchless panties, right?" I asked speaking in a coquettish voice.

He grinned widely and I noticed for the first time how he hung onto the railing due to the drinks he had been served. "Absolutely," he laughed.

"Listen up, legal eagle," I said, and took a step closer to him. "I'm going to school your ass. Judge Baker is a right winged conservative, he isn't happy if he doesn't lock someone away for life at least once a year. Judge Parrish is a letch and has a thing for erotic photography. Judge Bolton is fair but doesn't put up with any games the defense wants to pull. Those are your audience counselor, choose wisely."

I left him standing there trying to understand what I had told him. He wasn't used to ordinary people knowing so much about the lives of the judges, but this was Forks, and he was out of his element. He didn't grasp that everyone in town knew why Mr. Banner was killed. We also know Jake was innocent, but everyone kept quiet, because that was what they were supposed to do. The only thing nobody knew was exactly who the killer was, and the possibility Edward would find out had everyone terrified.

2

The following morning Edward knocked on my door and I yelled for him to come in. He opened the door slowly and peeked in to find my room looking just like his. He walked over to the bed and I moved my arm to look at him.

"I need to go to the jail; can you be ready in half an hour?"

"I thought you needed to see Leah first?" I said and his eyes widened.

"You'll take me to her?" he asked.

"Dress in jeans," I said, and pulled myself up. I was wearing the same shirt from the night before and a pair of panties. I could feel his eyes on me as I stopped in the small kitchenette to start some coffee. He quickly left and I walked into the bathroom. I looked at myself in the mirror. I stared at the eyes I no longer recognized and wondered how I ended up like this.

I was the only child of the second grade teacher and the chief of police. I had everything I ever wanted but nothing I truly needed. Nobody noticed the subtle changes in me over the years. It was all a part of growing up, I could understand how one over indulged little girl wouldn't be noticed, but when the entire fucking sixth grade changed, someone should have noticed.

I showered and dressed before pouring a cup of coffee and opening my door to wait for Edward. I could hear him talking on the phone but I didn't listen, he didn't have any information at this point. He walked into my room wearing button up jeans and a sweater. He would stick out on the reservation but I let it go.

We drove and chatted about the weather and the size of the massive forest but nothing personal or about Jake's case. I pulled in front of the Clearwater home and asked Edward to wait in the car. He climbed out but stayed leaning against the fender, smoking a cigarette.

I knocked loudly and Leah answered the door. "You're on," I said quietly, and nodded toward Edward.

"Oh shit," she replied, and walked outside to stand by the car. Her arms were folded and she looked tense.

Edward reached in his briefcase and handed me a pencil and pad so I could take notes. I knew he was testing me to see how thorough I could be. I kept my head down and wrote everything they said.

"Are you Jake's girlfriend?" he asked her.

"I'm one of them," she answered.

"When did you see him last?"

"When Charlie pulled him out of my bed and arrested him," she said angrily, and Edward looked a little shocked.

He looked at me and I could tell it took a lot for him to turn his attention back to Leah. "Did he ever say anything about Mr. Banner?" Leah and I both laughed.

"Yes, he did," she said. "He said the same thing everyone else said. They guy was weird and he gave him the creeps."

"What was weird about the man?"

"He taught sixth grade, but he spoke to kids as if they were in kindergarten. He used baby talk to communicate; I say that is pretty weird."

"Would Jake have a reason to kill Mr. Banner?" he finally asked her outright.

"You would have to ask Jake, I don't know what goes through his head. He managed to sleep with another woman and I don't even know who she is, so you see, we didn't share much with each other."

"Are you willing to testify on his behalf?" he asked her and she nodded. I closed the steno pad and climbed into the car thinking the conversation was over. I was stunned Edward walked her to the house and they continued to speak. I was sure he would yell at me for missing the notes, but he seemed relieved I was out of hearing range.

When he finally came back to the car I was nervous. He didn't say a word and I wasn't going to appear curious. We drove to the jail and I saw Angela on the phone. She was the dispatcher for the Forks police department. I walked over to say hello.

"What are you doing here?" she asked, and gave me a polite hug.

"I'm Mr. Cullen's scribe," I laughed. "He's Jake's lawyer."

Her eyes moved slowly to look at Edward and I could see her fear all over her face. "Ang," I said to get her attention. "You better get back to work." She swallowed and finally turned back to the phone system.

I followed Edward into the interrogation room and waited for Jake to be brought inside. Edward looked at me with piercing eyes and asked, "Who is Jake sleeping with?"

"I'm pretty sure my father put him in his own cell, but I can't be certain," I teased, and Edward looked angry. The door opened at that moment and Jake came in wearing shackles. He nodded at Edward and looked at me with shock.

"Hey, Bella, why are you here?"

I looked at the officer removing the shackles and spoke hatefully. "Seriously Dan, fucking shackles, where is he going to run?"

"It's policy, Bells," he replied dryly and I shook my head in disgust. Forks tried so hard to be a city when all it would ever be is a Podunk town in the middle of the forest. I opened the steno pad and wrote the time and date, trying to find any excuse not to look at Jake.

Edward opened his briefcase and pulled out a small recorder. I didn't know why he wanted me to attend if the was just going to record everything. I felt there was another reason he wanted me here, maybe it was just to see Jake's reaction?

"Did you know Mr. Banner?" Edward asked.

"Yes," Jake answered quickly.

"How, you attended school on the reservation?"

"I had seen him on the beach several times. I knew a lot of kids from town; we would hang out together during the summer months. He would walk along the beach late in the evening and cry."

"Cry?" Edward repeated.

"Yeah, loudly, he would walk with his hands in his pocket and cry."

"Did anyone ask him about it?"

"I don't know, I didn't," Jake said, and I glanced up at his face. He had a slight smile as if he was enjoying the entire process. He didn't have anything to worry about, there was no evidence against Jake and the only reason they arrested him was a neighbor identified his motorcycle parked on the street that night.

"Who were you seeing that night, Jake?" Edward asked with a sigh of frustration.

"No one, I was riding my bike and a rock kicked up and hit me, giving me a spasm in my calf. I parked the bike and took a long walk to work it out."

Edward sat back and crossed his arms. "I promise to leave her off the stand, but I need you to know the truth."

Jacob laughed loudly and leaned in to speak softly. "I went for a walk, and that was it."

Edward turned his attention to me and asked, "Did you have Mr. Banner as a teacher?"

"Yeah, everyone did, he was the science teacher," I responded and took the chance to look at Jake. He winked and my eyes darted back to Edward to see if he noticed.

"Why would he cry?" he asked.

I laughed and said, "He taught sixth grade that would make any grown man cry."

"The only evidence they have is a partial shoe print. The image of a crescent moon was on the sole. Do either of you know anyone who wears shoes like that?"

We both shook our heads and stared with a blank face causing Edward to stand and pace out of frustration. I took the opportunity to look at Jake again. He licked his lips and I had a hard time staying in my chair. The room remained quiet until Edward asked, "If I call Leah to the stand will she be a problem?"

"I don't see why she would," Jake offered, and Edward opened the door and called for the guard. Jake stood to be shackled again and I walked out in anger, refusing to watch the display.

I waited for Edward in the car and he was angry when he turned to me. "Cut the shit, you tell me what I want to know or I'll subpoena your ass and we'll chat in front of a judge."

"It would help if you tell me what you're talking about," I yelled back at him.

"What is going on around here? You keep telling me it's a small town and everyone knows everything, yet a dead man seems to have no friends or enemies. Everyone had him as a teacher but nobody knows a thing about him. Hell, Bella, I found out Emily is pregnant with Sam's baby and I don't know who in the hell Emily is."

I gasped loudly and screamed, "Emily is pregnant?"

"Shit," he yelled loudly and punched the dash board. "I was only making a point. I have people bending over backwards to tell me town gossip but nobody talks about the dead teacher."

"You don't have to prove who did it, you only have to prove Jake didn't. Why are you trying to solve the case, let my dad handle that part."

He started the car and drove to a pizza parlor. We sat silently in a booth, he was sulking and I was trying not to notice. His mind was racing and he was trying to put together some type of scenario that made sense. He finally looked at me and asked, "Was Mr. Banner gay?"

"He taught us about chlorophyll not human sexuality. How would I know if he was gay?"

"He wasn't married and he walked along the beach to cry. It had to be over a woman or a man, or possibly a lost child," he said throwing out possible scenarios.

I only stared at him hoping he didn't connect the dots in the right manner. Our pizza arrived and we ate in silence. I was feeling sick to my stomach and I wanted to get home. I could feel Edward watching me and I was growing angry.

"Why did you ask for an assistant?" I finally asked him.

"I need someone to take notes and bounce ideas off of," he said and I knew he was lying.

"Cut the shit," I said angrily.

"Why do you think I asked you?" he said, and I was too angry to think straight.

"You want someone to fuck," I said loudly.

A family turned to look at us and I noticed how Edward shoulders slumped with embarrassment. I felt like I was struggling to hold onto my façade and I stood to leave. It shocked me when Edward leaned forward and said harshly, "Sit down, I'm not finished talking. I never bought your tough ass act from the beginning."

I sat down and wanted to beg him to stop talking. I needed to think he believed me, because I couldn't bare it if I was so transparent. I worked very hard to stay buried deeply within myself and he showed up one day ago bringing everything out into the open.

He took a deep breath and finally asked the million dollar question. "Are you the one sleeping with Jake?"

I didn't answer; I only stared into his inquisitive face. "I'm wondering if Mr. Banner made a pass at you or maybe you were seeing both men."

I felt the tears begin to fall down my face. He thought I was sleeping with John Banner and the thought of it sickened me. I had tried so hard to make him see a tough woman who wouldn't do the whole relationship thing, but he never bought it. My chin was shaking and I forced myself to look away.

"They are only words, they hold no power over you, just say it," he prompted.

I used the very last bit of strength I had to look into his eyes and managed to speak softly, "I have no idea what you're talking about."

3

I vowed I would stay far from Edward Cullen. I assumed we were headed home but he turned down a different road and pulled up in front of Mr. Banner's house. I turned to look at Edward's face and he looked worried about me. I wasn't used to that look.

"Have you ever been here?" he asked and a shiver ran through me.

"It's a small town," I said for the hundredth time hoping to deflect his question, but he was a lawyer and not easily sidetracked.

"Have you been inside the house?" he clarified and I wondered for just a moment what he would say if I told him I could give him a perfectly drawn rendering of the entire house.

"Are you asking me if I killed Mr. Banner?" I asked in shock and grew very angry.

"No, I'm asking a yes or no question. Have you been here before?"

"I'm not your client, I don't have to tell you shit," I threw out and let my head fall back and my eyes close.

He opened the door and got out of the car. "Come on," he called and I hesitantly climbed out and followed him to the back of the house. He walked onto the deck and looked into the dark forest for a moment. "Where does the forest lead from this house?"

"Into more forest," I said sarcastically. I would have been happier if he wanted to go into the house. I would do anything to keep him from that forest.

"Didn't you tell me the forests were full of secrets?" he asked and walked toward the trees. I kept my eyes on him and followed to the edge of the forest. My heart was pounding wildly and I was afraid he would notice the fear rolling off of me.

I waited for him to return and noticed I could no longer see or hear him. I looked back at the house and then ran into the dark woods calling for Edward. I ran as the vines reached for my legs and the limbs slapped at my face. I was hyperventilating and fell to my knees as I wrapped my hands over my head for protection.

I felt someone touch me and I screamed as I swung at only air, "Don't touch me, I won't tell, I promise," I cried.

Strong arms circled me and pulled me to my feet. I tried to push away but he was still too strong. He pulled me to his chest and spoke into my ear, "Bella, it's Edward, I'm not going to hurt you," he said forcefully.

"I won't tell," I cried, and he pulled back to hold my face in his hands.

"You won't tell what?" he asked, and my eyes focused on who was standing in front of me.

I was shaking and terrified, but I managed to remain in control long enough to ask, "Can you take me home?"

"Sure," he said kindly, and wrapped his arms around me to help me walk back to the car. I didn't want him to be kind. I wanted him to think I was a freak and get as far away from me as possible. I wanted him out of his room and into a motel.

I felt my tears falling the whole way home as I drove. I stared out the window without speaking or looking at Edward. He held my hand warmly the entire way and I let him. I couldn't think clearly and I would rather do nothing than make a mistake and say the wrong thing.

When we got home I headed right to my room and he followed. I ignored his concern and climbed into bed and faced away from him. He sat down and rubbed my back softly. "I'm so sorry, Bella," he whispered and I closed my eyes in despair. I wasn't sure if he was putting the pieces together or not and I worried about Jake.

I refused to answer and wanted him to leave. I would deny everything tomorrow and make him think he was imagining the entire thing. He finally stood and walked slowly from the room. I remained in bed until the sun set and the dark of night spread across the town. I got out of bed and headed to the deck to smoke. I took a long drag and just as I went to drop the stick Edward reached out and took it from me.

"I'll finish it," he said and I let my eyes drop in shame for my earlier weakness. I decided to give my badass attitude another shot and hoped he would fall for it.

"Are you that desperate for something hot in your mouth?" I teased and he only stared back at me, so I added more. "I'm going to Sam's if you are interested. I can hook you up, if you want?"

"I'll go, but I don't need a hook up," he said, and sounded sad when he said it.

I walked away and dressed for the club. I planned on partying hard, without the alcohol of course, I couldn't chance losing control of my mouth. I put on extra make up and did my best to make Bella Swan disappear. When I knocked on his door his eyes widened at the sight of me.

"I'll be in the car," I said and walked away. He followed and I noticed how his usually tamed hair was wild and his button down shirt was open to reveal a white t-shirt. I drove quickly to Sam's and headed right to the dance floor. I was stunned when Edward followed.

I closed my eyes to dance and felt his hand rest lightly on my hip as he danced behind me. I was acutely aware of his body against me the entire time. I heard Jessica call out my name and I waved her over.

She looked at Edward with a 'guilty as hell' face and made an excuse to leave, but I grabbed her arm and pulled her close. I ran my finger down her arm and she looked between Edward and me with a panicked look.

"Dance with us," I said to her, and she shook her head adamantly. Edward looked like he was about to shit himself and sighed with relief when Jessica left.

"What was that about?" he asked.

"I'm sure she is wondering where I dug you up. I usually come here alone and I'm sure she was shocked to see you with me."

"Are you, I mean the two of you…"

I wanted to scream hallelujah. I finally had him confused and flustered. I felt a feeling of security run through me and I began to relax. I was buried deep within the shell I carried around publicly and it was a wonderful feeling, until the music slowed and when I headed off he took my arm and pulled me back.

"I have a couple of questions," he said as he pulled me in close so he could speak into my ear. A shiver ran through my body and I knew he was aware of it. I had control for less than a minute and he managed to flip the situation again.

When he didn't say anything I looked up in confusion to see him smiling knowingly. "I'm not on the clock; I just wanted to dance with a pretty woman."

"Yeah right," I said letting him know I wasn't stupid. He was digging for information and using me to gain it.

"I would love to see your artwork," he said, and I laughed. "I'm serious; I've never known an artist."

I nodded to a large sculpture of a wolf by the club door. "I made that for Sam when he opened the club."

"Seriously," he laughed, "That is amazing. Did you study art or does it come naturally?"

"I've never left Forks, I'm self taught," I admitted.

"Hey, Bella," Eric called out and came over to dance next to me.

"Hi Eric, Lauren," I said and hoped Edward wouldn't want to be introduced. I was wrong.

"Hi, I'm Jacob Black's lawyer, Edward Cullen," he said and held out his hand.

They both gasped and looked like they had seen a ghost before bolting from the club. Edward watched and suddenly noticed how everyone in the place steered clear of him. He looked directly at people and they all looked away without meeting his gaze.

"I think we should leave," he said softly against my head and I nodded. I was exhausted and happy to be away from the uncomfortable stares. He didn't drive back to the house but headed away from town on the highway.

"Where are we going?" I asked.

"I looked on Google and saw Mr. Banner's property ends at the beach. I just want to see if there are any trails. "

I felt like I was going to vomit and wanted to speak to Jake for strength. He would know exactly what to say to calm my nerves and help me pull this off. I remained quiet as Edward struggled to find the right turn offs and maneuver in the darkness. We pulled to a stop at the top of a cliff overlooking the ocean. All I could see was a mass of blackness stretching out forever.

"This is dangerous in the darkness," I told him, and he only smiled.

"I have a flashlight; I need to see what the killer would have seen."

I followed him out of the car and he shined a bright light into the dark trees. We walked slowly into the undergrowth and as we neared a group of large rocks I stopped and turned to look at Edward.

"Look at the gorgeous moon," I said trying to sound seductive. I leaned into his body and wrapped my arms around his waist.

"The moon," he said and pointed the flashlight to the ground. "Look for a print with a crescent moon."

"It rains every day," I pointed out. "Any prints would be long gone. And this doesn't even make sense. Why hike all this way when you could simple walk into his house and back out through his back door?"

"I'm missing something," he said with frustration.

"You're missing the romantic moon," I said, desperate to keep him from the large rocks.

He looked up through the trees toward the moon low in the sky, looking huge as it shined down on us. He turned to look at me and smiled. "You really want me to see the moon?" he asked with a raspy voice.

"And other things," I said with a smile and he pulled me against his body.

His hand ran down my back and settled on my ass. I swallowed and tried to keep my smile in place but it was beginning to shake. He moved his mouth to my neck and kissed me softly as he tightened his arms. I closed my eyes tightly and began singing various Queen songs in my head.

He kissed his way to my jaw and down to my mouth before pulling back to look at me in the darkness. "What's wrong?" he asked.

I felt the damn tears forming again and whispered, "Kiss me, please."

He gently ghosted his lips over mine and I tensed. "Are you okay?" he asked, and I repeated my earlier request asking him to kiss me.

"Bella," he said softly. "Are you afraid of me?"

"No, but I need you to kiss me. I need to know I can be kissed," I said with total desperation and causing him confusion.

"I did kiss you," he said softly as he stroked my cheek.

"Kiss me like you want me," I cried.

He pulled me tightly against his body and lowered his mouth firmly to mine. I cried against his mouth and pulled his hair harshly as I needed to feel him touching every part of me. We were panting and frantic with our movements. I felt my back rammed into a tree as he tried to hold me still so his hands could wander.

"If I tell you to stop, can you do it," I gasped as he kissed his way to my chest.

"You want me to stop?" he asked.

"Can you?" I pushed, and he stopped moving.

"Oh God," I cried out and pulled him back to my mouth. He pulled my shirt up and let his warm hands touch my heated flesh. My head fell back and I made a huge mistake. I moaned loudly and yelled, "Yes, Jake, I need you."

He pushed away and leaned his hands onto his knees as he gasped for his own air. I slid down the tree trunk taking large gulps of air. Edward turned to look at me and pointed angrily. "I asked you if you were sleeping with him. Why would you deny it, because of Leah?"

"I don't owe you any explanations," I yelled, and stood to leave.

"I don't fuck other men's women," he screamed, and I laughed loudly.

"I don't belong to anyone. You are the stranger here without a clue about anything, so don't act all hurt. It took you less than forty eight hours to begin thinking with your dick, you're no different than Banner."

I had just made my second mistake. 


	2. Chapter 2

4

I bit on my lip wanting to scream at my lack of control. I was sure I could handle this guy, everyone was depending on me and I lost it after two days. He wasn't what he was supposed to be. He was new and young and handed a cut and dry case, but he wanted to solve the murder and leave us poor stupid hicks free to sleep peacefully at night.

I found the nerve to look at him as he was staring up at the moon. His hands were clasped behind his neck and he was trying to work out what he wanted to say. I waited because it was all I could do. He finally looked at me and said, "I suppose you won't tell me who did it?"

"Jake didn't, that is all you need to know," I said honestly.

"A man is dead," he said hoping to appeal to my humanity, but I shook my head.

"An animal is dead," I said with venom. "There was nothing human about him."

"I need to use this information?" he said softly, and I shook my head.

"I'll deny it. I'll say you were trying to get me to have sex with you, and I told you lies so you would leave me alone."

"I'll prove you are sleeping with Jake," he pushed, and I laughed louder.

"You would be wrong."

"You're not in love with Jake?" he asked showing his surprise and I leaned my back against the tree for support.

"Yes, I'm in love with Jake, but I can't sleep with any man, thanks to Mr. Banner."

I couldn't believe I was admitting something like that to a relative stranger. I guess I felt I owed him the truth for coming on to him and acting like I would happily give him sex to lose focus on the case. I honestly believed I would be able to do it, for Jake, but I was wrong.

"Shit," he said and rubbed his face with the palm of both hands. "An entire town knows about this guy and nobody does anything."

"What are you talking about, someone did something. He's dead and he will never touch another child again. You need to prove Jake innocent and go home, Edward."

"Do you have any idea what this is doing to the entire town? There is an entire generation of people who need help. It doesn't stop because he is dead."

"So we should sue the school district?" I asked hysterically, "We are the district, we are the tax payers. You want us to bankrupt our own town?"

"Does your father know?"

I shook my head back and forth. "Mr. Banner was hired my fifth grade year. The kids who know are twenty five now. We had a meeting and…."

"Stop," Edward screamed and held his hands over his ears. "You can't tell me this, I'm an officer of the court and I would have to disclose this information."

"You would defend that piece of shit over us?" I asked in shock.

"The law doesn't work that way," he tried to explain but I headed down the trail in anger. He ran to catch up to me and I pushed him away.

"Bella, I know you can't understand this, but I need to bring this information into the open. Is there anyone willing to testify about the abuse?"

"No," I screamed at him. "We've been through enough, do your job and get Jake cleared, and then leave us all alone."

I climbed into the car and waited for him to do that same. I had messed up so completely but at least he didn't find the entrance by the large rocks. I was able to do something right tonight. I also noticed something else that had me totally freaked. I felt something when I kissed him. I wanted more and I wanted him specifically. I never felt that when Jake kissed me, maybe because we were only working on my intimacy issues and Leah was the one he actually had sex with.

We drove home and when the car stopped he looked at me with frustration. I climbed from the car and ran up the stairs. I didn't care what my mother would say, I lit a cigarette inside the room and took a long drag, only one because that was all Banner allowed.

I tossed it in the sink and stared at the obvious sign of my inadequacy. I felt a tightening in my chest and I let it slowly grow into an agonizing cry as I slid down the counter onto the kitchen floor. I fell asleep on the cold tiles and dreamed of walking down the aisle to my lover. I felt happy and whole and excited for my future. I walked past all my friends and smiled to show them we could overcome everything that had happened to us. It would simply be a footnote on the story of our lives.

I reached for my loves hand and looked up to see his face when John Banner stared back at me. I screamed and tried to scramble my way back down the aisle to get away from him. He was grabbing my arms and calling to me as I kicked and cried.

I felt cold water hit my face and I gasped in shock. My eyes shot open and I saw Edward kneeling in front of me with his arm out to help me. I looked around the room to see I was actually in my home and safe. I tried to stand and Edward reached out to help me.

"Don't," I said and moved away from him.

I got a drink of water and looked at the clock to see I had slept the entire night on the floor. I could see him watching me from the side of my eyes but I never looked directly at him. He finally took a deep breath and said, "I can get you some time with Jake."

I looked at him skeptically and waited for the catch. Why would he allow me to talk with Jake when I basically admitted the town planned a man's murder?

"Be ready at nine," he said and left the room.

We didn't speak the entire way to the jail and once Jake was unshackled Edward stepped from the room. I looked at Jake and he held his arms open. I stepped into his hug and he whispered in my ear. "The room is bugged." I nodded and we both remained quiet as we hugged.

"Have you seen Leah?" he asked and I smiled.

"Just when Cullen talked to her, he plans on putting her on the stand," I said and rolled my eyes, "Good luck with that."

"She'll do fine," Jake assured me.

"What are you designing now?" he asked and we both sat down.

"I'm working on a sculpture for the La Push cemetery," I told him and his eyes lit up.

"Yeah, what is it going to be?"

"You'll see," I smiled. "You'll be out before it's finished."

Edward walked back into the room and seemed disappointed in our conversation. One look on his face and I knew he had been listening. I looked at him smugly and he smirked at me. He sat across from Jake and asked, "Did you have anything to do with the planning?"

"Planning of what?" Jake asked with a smile.

"You were not involved in any way?" Edward asked.

Jake held up his fingers and said, "Scouts honor."

"I want to send Bella away," Edward said, and we both looked at him in shock.

"I'm not going anywhere," I protested.

"I can bend the truth if you are away," he explained, and I simply shook my head. "You have to do this for Jake, Bella. We need his relationship with Leah front and center, not you hanging around reminding the jury you're his friend."

"Where am I supposed to go?" I asked angrily. "I don't know anyone outside of Forks."

"I'll take you to my home in Seattle," he offered and I huffed in surprise.

Did he honestly think I would go to his home far away while Jake fought for his life? I wanted to believe my concern for Jake was my reason for staying, but I was terrified to leave Forks. I needed to feel in control of my environment because the thing I feared the most was losing control of the only safe things in my life. I never went to New Mexico because I couldn't leave the safety of the place that had been my personal hell. I hated feeling weak, but Edward was making me admit I was just barely holding on to my life.

I knew Jake would be my ace and refuse to let me leave town, especially now that I could visit him. I was stunned when he looked directly at me and said, "I think it's a great idea."

"Jake," I said softly, hurt beyond explanation.

"You need to go, for me," he said and reached out for my hand. Edward watched us in silence and I noticed how he jaw tightened when Jake touched me.

I leaned in and felt my tears coming, "You know I can't."

"You can, Bella. It will be good for you, too. Get out of this shit hole and be happy," he said and looked at Edward. "You better take care of her, understand?"

"I'm not a child you can send to Grandma's," I complained. "My God, I have responsibilities here and a sculpture to finish."

"One month and you can return," Edward offered. "Let me present my case and then you can come back. I have to keep you off the stand."

I sat quietly, appearing to pout, but actually terrified at the thought of going to Seattle to spend time with strangers. I tried to think everything through and wondered if I could change my personal plans to make Seattle work better for me. I was getting confused so I decided to stick with my original plans and do everything I could to stay in Forks.

"Jake tell him," I begged and worried about everything falling apart. "I'll testify if I have to," I said to Edward and he looked like he was in pain.

"You would have to tell the truth, and something tells me you are not willing to do that," he said as he watched for my reaction.

"Bella, I'll be out of here soon and we'll have a huge dedication party for the sculpture, okay," Jake offered making me feel like a child who could be distracted by a party.

I turned to Edward and asked, "Where are you sending me?"

"My parents live in Seattle. I have a sister I know you would like and a sister-in-law I know you would hate," he said with a laugh and I actually smiled a little. "You can relax around the pool…"

"A pool in Seattle?" I challenged, and he nodded in earnest.

"Indoor and heated," he smiled.

I walked through both situations in my head. I would have to either go to Seattle where a breakdown could cause me to spill my guts or stay in Forks and be put on the stand to perjure myself. I was terrified and knew where I could go for a bit of medicinal help to find courage.

"Fine, but I won't leave until tomorrow," I said and looked at Jake. "I want to see Mike before I go."

He nodded with understanding and said, "Why don't you go say goodbye while I talk strategy with my lawyer."

He was giving me the chance to set things in motion without Edward's constant watch. I gave Jake a big hug and glared at Edward as I left the room. Mike's house wasn't too far from the jail, but rain was threatening so I jogged down the road in a hurry.

I didn't bother knocking on his door and went directly to the old beat up barn behind the house. Mike was working on a car and looked up with concern when I walked in. "You're not supposed to be here," he said angrily.

"We have trouble," I said, and he sighed loudly. "Jake's lawyer is asking questions. He wanted to put me on the stand, but I'm leaving so he can't."

"So who is going on the stand?" he asked with a bit of fear in his voice.

"Leah."

"Leah doesn't know shit," he pointed out.

"Exactly, so don't let the guy trick you with false information. He knows Banner was a sick fuck and that is it. Do NOT give him any information," I pressed and Mike nodded. "I need something else."

He glanced up and shook his head, "You're too smart to become a doper, and I'm not about to have Charlie breathing down my back."

"I only want some valium. I can't go to Seattle and have a breakdown since I'm staying with the lawyer's family."

"Are we going to have to deal with this lawyer?" he asked and I was suddenly worried for Edward's safety.

We had believed a new lawyer would be capable of getting Jake off, but too inexperienced to dig too deeply. This guy was trouble and he could end up destroying the entire town as he tried to solve the case that needed to be left alone.

"I'll handle him," I said trying to sound confident.

Mike stood and walked over to a locked tool chest. He put some pills in a baggie and handed them to me. Our eyes met and we looked at each other with the pain we carried for so long. We were all tired and ready for this chapter to be over. We were naïve to think we would be able to continue on as if nothing happened as we all carried the burden of death. Mike spoke very softly and said, "Do you know who did it?"

"No, and stop asking," I said back, and left the barn.

I walked to Jessica's in the rain and knew I had a dry shirt at her house I had left before. I waited for her to come to the door as I looked into the dark trees. I wondered if a forest would ever look beautiful to me. I tried to think of the last thing I saw that I felt held beauty. Only one thing came to mind, Edward Cullen's eyes.

Jessica answered the door and I walked in without being invited. She threw her arms around me and I held her as she cried. I finally found my voice and said, "I'm leaving. I have to go to Seattle so I won't be put on the stand."

"This isn't working like we thought, is it?" she asked.

"Jess, none of us know anything. Mr. Cullen is only digging around, he won't find anything. The tiny bit of evidence he has is leading him in the wrong direction. If he comes to you, be honest, but only with the things we discussed, okay?"

"I don't want to talk to him," she said with a panic.

"Jess, you are one of the strongest, don't let me down."

"I talked with Eric and Lauren. They are going to plan a wedding to keep people off the trail," she said and I laughed, knowing full well Eric and Lauren were not a couple.

"I'll be back in a month," I told her and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

"Be careful," she warned and I winked at her.

I made my way back to the station and Angela gave me a soft wave of her hand so I nodded at her. I waited for Edward to return and we drove home in silence.

5

We didn't go out that night and Edward seemed too quiet when he found me on the balcony. He smoked his cigarette and looked at the moon. I finally headed to my studio and felt nervous when he followed me. He watched as I soldered small bits of brass onto the sculpture. My hands were shaking and I finally gave up and moved onto some moccasins I was making.

"You make those by hand?" he asked in shock.

"I sure do, you want a pair?"

He laughed and shook his head, knowing he would have no use for them in his world. "Do you sell a lot of those?"

"Not around here, but in New Mexico, where it's dry, I sell a lot."

"So, what is the deal with you and Jake?" he asked as he tried to act very interested in the large squares of leather.

"Jake was the only one who noticed the changes in everyone his age. Our parents never noticed, but Jake did."

"What kind of changes?"

I laughed and gave him a questioning look. Of course he knew what I meant and I wasn't going to spell it out for him. He nodded and looked embarrassed.

"So what did he do?"

"Nothing, but he is accused of murder," I said to show him I was done with the conversation.

"I'm going to say something really bold," Edward said ,and refused to meet my eyes with his so I knew he meant something really true. "Jake can't pretend to love the pain away. If it isn't real it won't work."

I was tempted to pick up my torch and light it on his face. I knew Jake didn't think of me like a lover, but he did love me like a friend and that was something I could trust. It was also something more than I thought I would ever have. Jessica turned to me for affection, the only person she trusted to hold her and comfort her. I turned to Jake.

"Edward, you have no idea what has gone on around here, so keep your opinions to yourself. Do your job and get Jake released so you can return to Seattle and your moral platitudes."

When he began watching me work on the sculpture again I finally asked him to leave. I waited until I heard him reach the top of the stairs and I quickly scrambled to a box under a large tarp. I grabbed the pair of moccasins and the Kukri knife and stuffed them up into the hollow interior of the portion of the sculpture I was working on. I used my arch welder to close up the section tightly.

I sat against the wall as my body shook and I gasped for air. I didn't want to use any of the valium until I left but I began to wonder if I would be able to make it through the night. I finally feel asleep against the wall, as I sat guard over the sculpture which would stand guard over our freedom.

It was Edward who woke me the following morning. He looked around the studio as if trying to see what had kept me there all night. I had no worries he would find anything and left to pack my stuff. I carried my bag down the stairs and we went to face my parents together.

"Hey, I'm catching a ride with Edward into Seattle," I said and watched both my parents react with shock.

"I thought you hate the city?" my mother asked.

"I do, I'm only going for about a month. I'm going to spend time with Edward's sister and check out the museums," I lied but also knew once it was out of my mouth I would absolutely check out some of the art museums.

"Doesn't Jake's trial begin soon?" my dad asked in confusion.

"I'll be back, I'm only going for the weekend," Edward said and my father pulled him to the side.

"I got a make on the weapon. Have you heard of a Gorkha blade?" Charlie asked him.

"No, is it common?"

"If you're a collector or from India, nobody around here would have access to one. They are used to slit throats, so it wasn't a crime of passion, someone planned to cut John Banner's throat and got the best weapon in the world to do it. It would cost money, and Black doesn't have any."

"Thanks, this is really helpful," Edward said and shook my father's hand.

I put my bag in the trunk and got into the car without another word. We drove off and could tell Edward was lost in the information my father gave him. I pulled out a pill from my purse and drank it down with my water bottle.

I could feel anxiety rising so I put in my ear buds and listened to music with my eyes closed as we drove toward Port Angeles. I let the gentle swaying of the car relax me and when I put my feet onto the dash Edward quickly smacked them down.

My eyes shot open and I smiled with embarrassment. "Sorry, I wasn't thinking," I offered.

"I need to make a stop in Port Angeles," he announced and I sat up and removed my music.

"Why?" I asked.

"I want to check out a couple of pawn shops."

"You looking to pawn something?" I asked with a dry mouth.

"No, just a hunch, if someone from Forks needed a rare object the ports here would bring things from around the world."

"Are you still trying to solve the case?" I said with disgust. "Jake deserves a lawyer focused on his innocence, not playing Perry Mason."

"They are not separate things," he said, and I only waved my hand to dismiss him. He pulled along the waterfront and looked for anything that could be worth checking out. He finally parked and asked me to wait in the car.

I waited for a couple of minutes and jumped out to head down the back alley, keeping pace with his movements from the sidewalk. He spoke with a couple of longshoremen, but I couldn't hear them. I wasn't paying attention to anything around me and suddenly heard a noise. I looked in front of me to see two men leaning against a wall.

I turned around to head back to the car and could hear their footsteps behind me. I glanced back to see they were gaining on me and broke into a full sprint. They were obviously drunk and stumbling toward me so I easily out ran them. I felt my heart beating wildly and I stopped running and turned to face the two men.

They slowed to a trot and began making sick comments to me. I stood my ground and waited for them to get closer. "Come on sweetheart," one man slurred. "We can show you a good time if you can handle both of us at the same time."

I smiled and winked, "Of course I can."

They looked at each other and grinned. I could smell the urine and alcohol on their bodies and felt my stomach lurch a bit. The larger man walked up to me first and just as he took hold of my arms I rammed my knee into his groin. He bent over in pain so I head butted him in the nose. Blood splattered everywhere and the other man ran.

I watched the injured man stagger and finally lean against the back wall of a shop before sliding down as he held his face in pain. I hurried back to the car and pulled a shirt out of my bag to wipe the sweat and blood off of my face. I had just settled back into the car and put my music back on when Edward came around the corner.

My heart was drumming with adrenalin and I tried desperately to calm my body. He sat in the car and looked at my before shrugging and starting the engine. I looked toward the alley and saw the man still slumped against the wall as we drove away.

I felt the overwhelming desire to go home and I couldn't make my body relax. My mind was racing and I couldn't believe what I had just done. I hurt someone and left him bleeding in an alley. "Pull over," I screamed and covered my mouth.

Edward quickly pulled to the side of the road and I threw up into the tall grass along the highway. He got my water bottle and poured the cold liquid onto a rag before placing it on my forehead. "Bella, it is only anxiety. You'll be fine, I promise."

He couldn't promise something he knew nothing about. He had no idea what I was capable of and now I knew. I was shaking uncontrollably and he pulled me to his chest and held me softly. "God, Bella, I wish you could have been spared this trauma. I'm so sorry you went through something so horrible."

I didn't respond and let him hold me in his arms. I buried my face in his neck and concentrated on his rocking motion. I hoped he would finally stop looking too deeply and work on getting Jake found innocent. I wanted him to understand the pain we all felt and not look for someone to testify. We had our justice and there was nothing he could do to change it.

He finally led me back to the car and continued toward Seattle. I sipped the water and stared out the window numbly until he finally spoke.

"Is there anything you want to tell me?" he asked softly.

"About what?" I asked with frustration.

"Why there is blood in your hair and on your shoes?"

I felt a shiver run through my body and I looked at the splattered blood on my shoe. I began to cry and he pulled to car off the road and shut off the engine. "Did you notice the guy huddled in the alley?" I asked and he nodded slightly.

"I did it," I confessed. "He was with another man and they chased me. I hit his nose with my head to make it bleed."

"Why were they chasing you?"

"I followed you; I wanted to see where you went so I followed from the alley. I didn't even think about it, I just reacted," I said in tears.

"Bella, I can't help you if you are not honest with me. I need to know what happened to Mr. Banner or your life is going to continue spiraling out of control. You can trust me, I promise."

I shook my head in disagreement. "I hardly know you," I said, and scooted away from him.

"Okay, I understand. Give me the weekend to earn your faith, can you do that?" he asked, and I finally nodded.

I wanted to believe him so badly. I needed someone to trust and help me carry the burden of my past. I couldn't tell my father, he wouldn't understand why we remained quiet and why we took the law into our own hands. I needed someone who truly understood what was best for me, like Jake, he never judged, only helped.

We drove the rest of the way talking about general things like music and movies. I found out Edward played the piano and he found out I loved sloppy romantic movies. He loved steak and I loved fresh fish.

When he finally pulled into a long driveway I became nervous again. I had no idea how he would explain my presence. "Hi mom and dad, this is Bella who may have killed a man, so I need her to stay here so I won't have to call her to the stand."

He noticed my reaction and reached over to take my hand. "Hey, they are really kind people, I promise," he said to calm me.

The front door opened and a beautiful woman stepped out. I watched her closely as she walked to Edward's side of the car. "I didn't know you would be back so soon," she said and he stood to give her a hug.

"I'm here for the weekend. Mom, this is a friend of mine, Bella Swan," he said and she smiled at me and came over to give me a warm welcome.

I didn't know if it was the valium or the fact I was so socially awkward but I blurted out, "I'm not really his friend, we just met."

I heard loud laughter and looked behind the woman to see a huge man. He was stunningly handsome, with deep dimples and perfectly sculpted hair. "I've told you and told you, just because they speak to you doesn't mean you can keep them," he said to Edward and reached over to mess up his already unruly hair.

"Bella, this is my handicapped brother, Emmett," Edward said as he shook his head angrily.

"Your face isn't going to be on a milk carton is it?" he asked, trying to look serious but his eyes twinkled as he spoke.

"More likely on a poster at the post office," I said, still missing the filter I should be using before speaking.

Edward chuckled and nodded for me to follow him into the house. He led me up a tall staircase and down a long hallway before stopping to open a door. "You can stay in here. There is a bathroom, but just know it also opens into my room, so lock both doors."

"You still live in your childhood room?" I asked as I tried to contain the smile on my face.

"I just passed the bar," he said with frustration and a bit of embarrassment. "I don't have any money yet."

"It's okay, I'm just dying to see your little league trophies," I laughed. His face turned bright red and I ran for his room. He tried to block my path but I was too fast with the door knob. I saw the shelf covered with various trophies and fell onto his bed in laughter.

"If you have ninja turtle sheets I'm leaving this moment," I teased, and pulled his blanket down to reveal brown and yellow stripes. I wiped my brow as I pretended to be relieved and then looked at his sheepish face. "Okay, only one more thing to check before I consider you an adult. Are you wearing tidy whities?"

"No," he said forcefully and I shook my head.

"Sorry, but you have to prove it," I said and crossed my arms.

"I wear thigh length boxer briefs from Calvin Klein, and I will only show you mine, if you show me yours," he said thinking I would call a truce. I had issues with intimacy, not nudity, so I quickly stood and pulled down my jeans to reveal my pink cotton boy shorts.

His eyes widened and then quickly narrowed into a smile as he stared directly at my underwear. "Those are so cute; does your mommy buy them for you?"

"They don't ride up with jeans, and they move with my body," I said to defend myself.

"Oh, I believe you," he teased. "Just don't swing too high at school, or the boys will see your panties."

My entire body froze and I stared at him in shock. I knew he didn't mean to make fun of my situation and was only trying to embarrass me like I had embarrassed him, but his words stung and I couldn't help but react. He let his head fall as he shook it softly.

"Jesus," he mumbled and walked toward me as I stood with my jeans around my ankles. He bent down and pulled them up before reaching his arms around me for a hug. His head leaned against mine as he said sincerely, "I apologize."

"You didn't mean anything," I offered to ease his conscience.

"Feel free to head butt me," he said and I laughed. I slowly brought my hands up to wrap around him and his tightened.

I could feel fluttering in my chest and the sensation only Edward was able to stir in me. He let his fingers run through my hair and I wanted to stand like this for ages. "You're so warm," he said softly and his simple words set my body on fire.

"Edward," I asked. "Please, kiss me."

6

I wasn't sure what I wanted from him, I guess it was the chance to feel normal for a moment. I didn't feel dirty or forced when he kissed me and I longed for the sensation. I never thought about what it meant to him, I was only focused on my own need. He lowered his head and just before we connected a loud bang came to his door.

We both jumped back and I stood with my jeans open and my pink panties on display. Emmett laughed and spoke to Edward. "Mom said to plan on dinner at six."

"Okay, leave now," Edward said rudely but Emmett came into the room and fell down on the bed.

"Are you going to relieve Edward's bed from its virginity?" he asked me and I didn't bother to button my pants.

"Not if you keep interrupting us," I said and crossed my arms.

"If you like, I'll talk to him first. Give him a few pointers," Emmett said to anger Edward.

"Do you live here?" I finally asked him.

"No, I'm waiting for my wife to return from shopping with my sister."

"And, you can't wait at home?" I pressed making Edward laugh.

"I'm helping my mother hang curtains," he said and finally stood to leave.

"Run along and hang ruffles," I said as I shooed him with my hands.

Edward shut the door and locked it after Emmett left and turned to warn me. "His wife is really scary."

I finally remembered Edward was leaving on Sunday night and I would be left here with an angry brother and his scary wife. I began buttoning my jeans when he took my hands and pulled them back. I looked into his eyes and saw desire building. I was thrilled and horrified at the same time.

"Do you still want me to kiss you?" he asked, and I tried to find enough saliva to swallow properly.

"I'm not sure," I said honestly, and he held my jaw in his two hands and kissed my cheek softly.

He began slowly making his way to my mouth when I grew impatient and turned to meet him halfway. His kiss was soft and exploratory, trying to learn how I leaned and the pace at which I puckered and pulled away. We caught up with each other quickly and began to deepen the kiss into something natural and less hesitant.

I was having a hard time thinking and wasn't even aware he was moving us to the bed, until he pushed me gently downward. I waited for his weight to settle onto me, but he used his arms to keep his body from connecting with mine.

The kiss grew hungry and rough but he still remained raised over me. My own body reacted like a magnet to his, pulling him closer and closer until he finally fell to the side of me. When I naturally moved to the side too, he let his hand run down the length of my body.

I was breathing so loudly and I tried to pull away but he touched my head gently and I moved right back into his kisses again. I was surprised he didn't take things any further and it was just what I needed. I kissed him with abandon until my lips began to swell.

He ran his finger gently over my bottom lip, swollen with the heat of our kisses, and whispered, "You look so beautiful."

"Why is it so different with you?" I asked him with a hushed voice.

"Because it is real," he said and rolled as pulled me onto him.

I placed my elbows next to his head and looked into his beautiful face and sighed. "I used to dream about you coming for me. I never thought it would really happen. I think ridding us of our nightmare allowed our dreams to come."

"Are you starting to trust me?" he asked, and I nodded. "Good," he said and moved my hair behind my ear.

I expected him to ask me some questions and quite frankly at that point I would have told him everything. He only rubbed his fingers on the exposed flesh on my back and continued to stare into my eyes.

"How is it you're not taken, and don't say you just took the bar or I'll beat you with it," I teased.

"I'm a momma's boy," he confessed. "No girls were ever good enough for her baby."

"Shit," I exclaimed. "Momma's gonna just love me."

"She will," he said softly and I wanted to tell him I was only joking, but I wasn't sure anymore.

I moved lower to lie on his chest and we were quickly fast asleep. I could feel his body beneath me in my dreams. I loved the angle of his taut muscles and the safety of the crook of his arm. He kissed me often in my dream and I smiled from ear to ear.

Edward suddenly gasped and bolted up out of bed. I looked at his terrified face and wondered what his dreams had been. "Are you okay?" I asked and he took a minute before nodding.

He finally turned to look at me with guarded eyes and said, "We better get ready for dinner. I'll get your bags and bring them to your room."

I was a bit sad he didn't ask me to stay in his room, but I did tease him about the decorating. I knew there was no way I was going to be able to sleep alone in a strange room the first night. Hell, I still lived over the garage of my parent's home, and that was a huge step for me.

I headed into the bathroom and took a quick shower. When I entered the guest room my bags were present so I dressed conservatively for the family. I walked through the bathroom and opened the door to Edward's room to see him talking on the phone. He was angry and trying to keep his voice down. As soon as he saw me he ended the call.

"You could have told me to leave," I said and he stood and held open his arms.

"Never," he said and gave me a quick kiss.

I grew nervous as we headed down the stairs and I could feel my tough ass persona moving forward in my soul. I wanted to be sweet and genuine, but that was too scary for someone with as many secrets as me.

I let Edward walk into the dining room first and found a long table surrounded by people standing behind their chairs. As soon as we entered the room everyone began to sit. I wanted to laugh and yell, "What the hell was that?" but I sat quietly at the chair Edward held out for me.

I noticed how he held his phone to the side of his body and glanced down at a message before taking a deep breath.

"Hi Bella," a beautiful young woman said enthusiastically. "I was going to wait for Edward to introduce us but he was taking too long. I'm Alice. I wish you would have been here earlier to go shopping with us. The sales were amazing, but I'm sure we can go another time."

"Alice, breathe," Edward commanded, and everyone laughed.

I had no idea why she thought Edward had taken too long to introduce us. He had barely sat in his chair when she spoke up. But her smile was friendly and she seemed honest in her enthusiasm. It should have made me comfortable but my walls had already risen.

"Edward takes a long time at many things," I said with a wink and Emmett whistled loudly.

Edward only glanced in my direction quickly and ignored my comment. Alice took control of the conversation again. "This is my husband, Jasper."

The man next to her nodded and his eyes totally freaked me out. They were so clear they were almost transparent and they stared as if seeing your soul. I couldn't look at the man and felt my hands begin to shake. "It's nice to meet you, Bella. I hear you'll be here for a few weeks."

"Only according to Edward, but we'll let that be our little secret," I smiled and only looked in his general direction. This time Edward turned to look directly at me, but I looked away.

"Oh, and that's Rosalie, Emmett's wife," Alice said as she pointed quickly to a woman across from Emmett.

I leaned over to look past Edward and saw a woman so beautiful she could stop traffic. She looked at me with such distain I felt my ego hide in my feet. I knew this was the one Edward said I would hate.

"Hello," she said dryly and I didn't attempt to respond. There was nothing I could do to make this chick like me, so why bother.

Finally Mr. Cullen reached his hand out for mine and spoke. "Welcome to our home, Bella, we are very happy to have you."

"Wow, that is exactly what your son said when we met, without the welcome to our home part."

Edward stood angrily and grabbed me by my elbow to pull me from the room. He shut the door before turning to face me. "What are you doing?" he yelled.

"I'm meeting your family," I said back just as loudly.

"You are being rude and crass. I want to know why," he demanded and I laughed cynically.

"Um…maybe because I am rude and crass," I retorted.

"Oh, I get it," he said to anger me with humiliation.

"Get what?"

"Nobody gets to see the sensitive, vulnerable side; you have to push them away before they see the real Bella."

"Go to hell," I said loudly.

"Nobody here wants to hurt your or judge you. You are truly safe here," he said and reached out for me.

"Then why don't you tell them the truth? Tell them I'm the girl who was sexually abused and then helped plan the murder of my abuser, and may have actually done it."

He grabbed my hand and threw open the door. "Everyone Bella wants you to meet the real woman she is."

I pulled back on his hand but he only tightened his grip. "It seems she was taken advantage of as a child along with her closest friends. She grew up strong and decided not to let anything happen to the children of Forks again. Her friend is my client, and is completely innocent, but the town wants to keep the secret of who killed the sick bastard. I seriously doubt they actually know, but Bella feels the need to act like this to keep anyone from finding out if she is truly guilty."

"You son-of-a-bitch," I mumbled.

"You asked for it," he said angrily back to me.

Rosalie stood and I got to see she was tall and had the body of a goddess. Her face was clenched and I felt she was trying not to say what she wanted. She walked to the door and turned to look directly at me. My eyes fell and she simply waited for me to look at her again.

"I would like to talk to you in the library," she said and jerked her head toward a room down the hallway.

"Is she going to hit me?" I asked Edward and he looked at Emmett with concern.

Emmett laughed and shook his head. "She is a really sweet girl down deep…real deep."

I let go of Edward's hand and walked with fake bravado down the hallway. Fighting two homeless drunks was easier than a Greek goddess. I was wondering random things, like, how long would it take me to pack, would a stranger pick me up if I hitch hiked with suitcases, and if my father's insurance would cover knocked out teeth.

I walked into the library and closed the door. Rosalie motioned for me to sit next to her on the leather sofa and I raised my chin to challenge her. "Oh relax, Mo Chuishle," she said and I looked at her with confusion. "Didn't you see the movie Million Dollar Baby?"

I suddenly got the joke and smiled before catching it and quickly going back to my challenged stare.

"My fiancé and his buddies raped me," she said bluntly, and I choked on my own spit. I had no idea why she would feel the need to confide in me, but she never even blinked. "I'm telling you this so you know there is a far end to the forest. You feel like you are always at the spot where you entered the darkness, you never realize you are coming out the other end until you see the light. It never goes away, but it does move further and further back into your mind. Do you remember turning eight?" she asked and I shook my head, suddenly lost in the conversation.

"If someone reminded you of the party would you remember?"

"I guess," I admitted.

"It becomes like that. One day you no longer have the desire to die, then it stops hurting to breathe, finally you go a day without thinking about it. I want you to know life can still be all you want it to be."

"I killed him," I said and watched her face show no reaction at all.

"Bullshit," she said and leaned closer. "If you really did, it would have destroyed you. The only way to get better is to rise above it; if you come down to his level it ruins your mind forever."

I felt sick inside and knew someone was going to be ruined and we had all sat by quietly and let it happen. I could feel the blood draining from my face and Rosalie quickly called out for Edward. I felt him place my head between my knees and tell me to breathe deeply, but my mind was far from that library.

I thought over all of us who were there that night when we drew straws. We had vowed to keep it a secret, nobody would know so nobody could turn in anyone else. I tried to think about how everyone was dealing with the stress and could find suspect behavior in all of us. We had handled only part of the problem and needed to gather again to help each other heal, especially the one we set up to be a murderer.


	3. Chapter 3

7

I ate dinner with Edward in his room. I was too embarrassed by my behavior to return to the dining room. When I stopped eating and began playing with my food he stood to take my plate. He took it downstairs and returned about ten minutes later and asked me to follow him into my room.

I sat on the bed and he pulled up a chair next to me. "I need to ask you some questions for Jake's defense and I want you to be very careful with your answers. Only answer the direct question you are asked and don't expound."

"I thought I needed to stay out of it?" I asked in confusion.

"Yes, these will be general theoretical questions," he explained and I took a deep breath.

"If there was a club," he began, "Hypothetically, of people who hated someone, would Jake be a member of the club?"

"No, Jake wouldn't meet the club criteria."

"How long would the club last?"

I lowered my eyes and answered, "Six years."

"Were more members added during those six years?" he asked and I could hear the anger in his voice.

"No, there were only the original eighteen members."

"Why?" he pressed.

"Because once you're a member you attend the meetings or you would be threatened."

"Why did the club disband?"

"Retirement," I answered with a whisper.

"And why did it form again?" he asked in a very gentle tone.

"The stock market tanked and someone was going to substitute for extra money. We couldn't let that happen."

He sat silently as he thought to himself. I moved to lay down so I wouldn't have to look at him. I wondered why he was asking questions that had nothing to do with Jake but he finally got there.

"Maybe Jake joined the club as an honorary member. Maybe he chose to become a member," he pressed and I shook my head.

"No, he never attended ANY club meetings," I emphasized.

"His bike was identified," he pushed and I shook my head harder.

"It wasn't his," I announced.

"You don't know for sure, maybe he only told you it wasn't."

"I KNOW for a fact it wasn't," I pressed and Edward gave me a knowing glance.

"So he had an alibi?"

I refused to answer and he stood to pace the floor. "Maybe you're off on your dates," he said and looked over at me.

"I have proof I'm not," I said and tightened my jaw to let him know it was all the information he was getting.

"Give me the proof and he walks away."

"No," I said forcefully.

"So it is something worse than being accused of murder, so he was cheating on his girl, but she already knows that, she just doesn't know who. But if you have proof of a date," he suddenly looked at me and I knew he had connected the dots. "You have a video."

I continued to stare at him and he waited for me to say something. He came over and sat on the bed and took hold of my hand. "Bella, I need someone I can tie to Banner through Leah, so when I put her on the stand she can make accusations against Banner. I need more than a false ID on a motorcycle."

I wanted to trust him so badly but I didn't know if I could just yet. I wondered if I could set up a test to see if he would keep his word. I wished I could talk to Jake openly and get his opinion. I was so confused and I needed to think with my head and not with my attraction to Edward.

I finally mumbled, "Ben Johnson."

"Thank you," he said and kissed my hand gently and pulled me up and off the bed.

"Where are we going?" I asked and he led me into his room.

"Pick a movie," he said and nodded to the bookshelf. He went into the bathroom and shut the door as I looked through his collection. I pulled out a sappy love story and knew he would not be happy. I removed my jeans and climbed into his bed. He returned and gave me a chuckle.

"I have to admit something to you," I confessed. "I'm afraid to sleep in that other room alone."

"Yeah, right," he laughed thinking I was kidding.

I sat up and looked at him in the eyes so he could see I was serious. His face lost its smile and he nodded. "How about you sleep in here tonight, will leave the bathroom doors open and you can try it tomorrow night."

I smiled and he continued to look at me as he unbuttoned his shirt. I couldn't tear my eyes away and watched his fingers work their way down the material. He kept his jeans on and joined me on the bed. I handed him the movie and he groaned loudly.

"Fine, you can choose since you are letting me sleep in your bed," I told him and he smiled as he climbed out of bed and grabbed a war movie. I didn't complain and when he came back to the bed I snuggled up to his side.

I didn't pay any attention to the movie and entertained myself by tracing the veins on Edward's arms. He was quiet for close to an hour and finally spoke softly and asked, "Bella, what's on the video?"

"It has nothing to do with the case," I told him and he moved to his side so he could see my face.

"I know," he said, and I looked away as tears formed in my eyes.

"Jake wanted me to see myself in a different light. He said I had visions in my head that were incorrect. It was stupid because I froze and couldn't go through with anything."

"Where is the tape?" he asked and I turned to look at him.

"Why?" I asked and wondered if he was going to ask me to prove Jake did indeed have an alibi.

He smiled and said, "I don't want Jake watching it."

I laughed and smacked his chest before laying back into his arms. I didn't know what it was about Edward that made me feel so safe and so comfortable. I couldn't believe I had only met him three days ago and I was sleeping in his arms.

But I also had to realize we were not in a relationship. He was trying to win his first case and he felt badly for my situation. I was sharing his bed, not having sex with him. I turned to look at him. "Tell me about your old girlfriends."

"Um, no," he laughed.

"Come on, what were you like in college and high school?"

"I was extremely annoying," he said and kept his eyes on the movie.

"Did you have a steady girl or did you date around?"

"I was a prick and I don't want to talk about it," he said with an irritated tone.

I moved to lay over him and looked at his angry face. "See, that is how I feel about all of your questions."

He took a deep breath and ran his hand through my hair. His eyes were so trusting and I shocked myself by leaning in to instigate a kiss. He brought both of his hands to my face and moaned loudly as I scooted my body entirely onto his.

I opened my eyes as I continued to kiss him and watched the stress on his face from trying to keep things from escalating. I loved the feel of his bare chest against me and wished his jeans were gone. I moved down his body and we both gasped from the sensation.

He slowly pushed me away and tried to comfort my hurt feelings. "Bella, we need to be careful. I can't do this and sleep with you in my bed, it would be too difficult."

I didn't want to tease him, I really didn't, but it felt so nice to be with a man this way without experiencing the panic I usually felt. I went back to laying my head on his chest and he let his arm rest on my back.

"Why did you become a lawyer?" I asked.

"I was really good at tripping people up and getting to the truth," he said without any sense of bragging.

"Try me, pretend I stole your wallet," I said with a smile on my face. I was sure he had never experienced anyone as stubborn as me.

"Okay, Miss Swan you are under oath to tell the truth, do you understand?"

"Yes," I giggled.

"Have you ever been in Mr. Cullen's room?"

"Oh yeah."

"Can you tell me the material his wallet is made of?"

"Leather."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Can you tell the court how you know it was leather?"

"I work with leather quite a bit. I have actually made wallets before."

"You've patched them or made entire wallets."

"I've designed and crafted wallets from start to finish."

"So you possess the tools to do such a thing?"

"Yes."

"In cutting leather, would you use a straight blade or a curved blade?"

"Curved," I said quickly and then we both tensed.

I had stopped breathing and his arm turned rigid. We both remained perfectly still until I pushed away from him and turned to stare at the wall next to the bed. He pretended to watch the movie, but I wasn't fooled. I knew he was trying to connect all the dots in his head with how the whole murder of John Banner went down.

My only consolation was the fact he was looking at everything wrong. He would be able to prove Jake was innocent…a byproduct of his digging for the true killer and I just needed to keep him off the right track.

I eventually feel asleep and hoped he would stay in the bed so I could remain asleep.

The next morning I woke up when I heard the shower going. I climbed from the bed and walked into the bathroom and opened the shower door. It took a moment for him to look at me. He wasn't shy and didn't seem bothered by the fact he was naked.

"Should I wait?" I asked.

He finally held out his hand for mine and I dropped my clothes and climbed in. He didn't speak and went right to work washing my hair. It wasn't erotic; it was soothing and made me feel cared for. After I rinsed all the soap from my body he finally spoke.

"What would you like to do today?"

I thought about my behavior in front of his family and groaned, "Remain in hiding."

"If we don't make plans, Alice will kidnap you and take you shopping," he laughed.

"She seems really fun, Rosalie is like…like Venus De Milo came to life," I observed.

"I think we all become what we need. Alice has a big personality because she is so tiny. Rosalie needs her beauty to fill the pain."

"And me?" I asked and quickly wanted to recant.

"You need to feel tough to make up for all the years of feeling weak."

"Why did I hurt that man in Port Angeles? I've never done anything like that," I said in shame.

"That was my fault," he said softly. "I was making you feel weak again, and you refused to do it. You lashed out to prove you are not that terrified little girl anymore."

"Edward, I'm sure you don't understand the reasoning behind…stuff. But, we did the only thing we could think of to end things. Please, let it go and get Jake free."

"There are things I can't tell you, too," he said to shock me. I hadn't considered he was keeping his own secrets. It sent a shiver through me at the possibility I wasn't aware of everything. Maybe I overlooked crucial information and it would bring us all down.

"Are you coming after us?" I asked him.

"Bella, I am a defense attorney not a prosecutor, but I do have to share discovery with them," he said with sad eyes.

"You're feeding them information about us?" I asked with shock.

"I don't have any information; you've given me antidotes with no proof to back them up. Hell, I can't even put you on the stand without bringing in the video as evidence as to why it was made. I doubt you will give me the video."

"What video?" I asked to show him I was not going to play his game.

"Exactly." He shut off the water and handed me a towel. I didn't feel safe around him anymore. He was the enemy who needed to be avoided.

I headed into the other bedroom and said, "I think I'll go shopping with Alice, today," and I shut the door to block the look on his face from my view.

I never heard any sounds coming from the house or even from Edward's room. I gathered the nerve to head downstairs and found his mother working on some fabric samples. She smiled and nodded to the counter, "I made you some fruit and muffins."

"Thanks," I mumbled and sat on a stool to eat. I watched her work and marveled at how beautiful she was, just like her son. She seemed kind and gentle and I wished she had been my mother.

"Edward said Alice will pick you up before eleven. He was in a hurry when he left."

"Left for the day or back to Forks?" I asked and I was sure she could hear the panic in my voice.

"He was meeting with his firm and then heading back to Forks, didn't he tell you?" she asked suspiciously.

I only nodded and began thinking about sleeping alone in the strange room. I couldn't blame him for leaving; I was only surprised he would do it when he knew how vulnerable I felt staying here. Maybe this was his way of throwing me in the water to prove I could swim.

I spent the entire day with Alice and couldn't believe the energy she had. We paraded through stores as if we were a conquering army collecting the spoils of war. I was loaded down with bags and collapsed into the booth from exhaustion when we stopped for a late lunch.

"You do this often?" I asked her with a newfound respect.

"I shop for a living. I'm a stylist for business professionals," she said and waved her arm for the waitress to come attend to us quickly.

I was too tired to imagine lifting my arm, but she didn't seem to run out of energy. "Don't they just wear suits and ties?" I asked naively.

She laughed and gave me a sympathetic shake of her head, "Oh Bella," she giggled. "You are so perfect for Edward."

"What do you mean?" I asked with a soft, weak voice.

"He's never been one for the high powered, social scene, fast paced life. He wants stability, a lot of kids, and a home out of the city. I swear he comes from a different generation, maybe he's been reincarnated," she said with a serious expression.

"Well, I just want him to be a good lawyer and get my friend off the hook for something he didn't do."

"Why did you hire Edward?"

"I didn't hire Edward," I told her emphatically.

"Who did?"

I felt my heart begin to beat wildly and it finally dawned on me what I was missing. We all heard a new lawyer was representing Jake, but we never considered someone had hired him. Jake didn't have money and neither did his father. Edward was private counsel, not appointed by the state. Shit, who in the hell hired Edward Cullen?

8

I wanted to call Forks and talk to someone, but I knew it would be a big mistake. I was going to have to wait until I was allowed to come back and then try to figure things out. I did call my parents and gave them an update. I was fine, enjoying the relaxing atmosphere, becoming friends with Alice and learning to be alone in a strange place at night.

They would give me updates on Jake in return. The trial date had been set and Edward was pushing things forward quickly, not allowing the state to build a case that would stick. My father was still working on leads, trying to find the shoe manufacturer with the crescent moon on the sole. They had not been able to find the murder weapon or the availability of the mysterious curved knife.

I asked my mother to lock up the studio so my sculpture would be left alone and she quickly agreed. I finally found the nerve to ask about Edward specifically. She told me he worked late hours and had been asking questions about Ben. My suspicions had been right. He didn't go talk to Ben, who had been away at school this past spring and not at the meeting, he began asking questions to gain information. He was still trying to solve the case and I no longer had any trust in him.

I needed to get home without Edward knowing I was coming and there was only one person I would take the chance to come get me. I called the police department and asked for Angela. She answered with her quiet, sweet voice and I quickly ask for her to call me on her cell.

It was five minutes before my phone rang. I could tell she was talking from an enclosed space, most likely the restroom. I asked her to come to Seattle on her next day off and I would arrange to meet her somewhere. I would have to wait three more days for her to come. I was also told Jake's trial was starting the next day.

I felt a bit of hope the whole thing would be over in just a couple of weeks. The state didn't have much evidence and I knew my father would try to be fair when he testified. I spent the next two days lying by the pool.

The door opened into the atrium which was made of all windows and Rose walked in with her swimsuit on. Well, not actually a swimming suit, more of a couple of pieces of string. She sat next to my lounge chair and looked at me with a blank face.

"What's the deal with you and Edward?" she asked bluntly.

"There's no deal, what do you mean?"

"He called Emmett last night, all freaked out and being the wuss that he is," she said as she lay next to me.

"Is the trial going badly?" I asked as I sat up. "It only started yesterday."

"All I know is the prosecutor held back some information and Edward was pissed, but the judge didn't let him call for a delay."

"Who was the judge?" I asked with a dry mouth and she only shrugged.

"What was the information?" I hoped she didn't notice the fear taking over my entire body and would think my interest was only due to my friendship with Jake.

"Something about a weapon Jake ordered."

The room began to spin and I felt like I was being sucked into a vacuum. I knew Jake didn't secure the knife for us, but it would look like he did. I took a deep shaky breath and Rosalie watched me carefully. She finally leaned closer and said, "Bella, be very careful. Edward is not your friend."

I had been so stupid to be swayed by his kind act and his gorgeous looks. He was victimizing me again and I wasn't going to stand for it this time. I wanted to lash out at him so badly, but he was far away, playing with my life with his deceitful hands.

"Jake is innocent, and Edward better prove him to be," I said with force.

"Oh, he will prove Jake innocent, it doesn't do him any good to get the wrong man convicted."

"Edward never seemed like the ambitious type," I pointed out, thinking about what Alice had told me.

"I have no proof for how I feel," she said as her eyes narrowed, "But, I think Edward is in something he can't get out of. He needs to find the killer to save himself. His firm is really breathing down his neck."

My world came crashing down. Edward was the patsy for a firm who wanted the killer of Mr. Banner. If Jake didn't do it, which he didn't, Edward had to find who did. I didn't know if Banner was in with these guys or possibly a relative, but someone was going to defend the man in death.

I did find a little comfort in knowing nobody knew who the killer was, but then I realized they might possibly take us all out for planning his death in the first place. "Who does Edward work for?" I asked and this time I knew she could hear my voice shaking.

"A huge firm out of Italy; they have offices all over the world. His direct boss is a Mr. Laurent who works downtown."

"Excuse me," I said and fled the room. I began tearing his room apart looking for anything with Edward's company information. I then moved to my room and when I pulled open a desk drawer I was stunned to find extensive taping equipment with audio and visual capabilities. I followed the cable down the back of the desk and under the carpet into the closet. It ran unobtrusively up the corner and into the ceiling.

I ran back into the room and found a tiny window just above a picture frame on the wall. It now made sense why he brought me into my room to ask me questions. I lost my cool and began destroying the room. I ripped the cable from the wall and dumped all the desk drawers onto the ground.

I found a huge marker and went into his room to write in bold letters across the wall, You fucking traitor!

I was stuck here and wondered if it was all part of Edward's plan. The other's needed me in Forks and maybe taking me out of the equation would make it easier to find who was responsible. I called for a cab and decided to go to the airport and rent a car.

Esme found me waiting outside with my bags. "Are you leaving, dear?" she asked kindly.

"Yeah, I'm going to Tacoma to see an old friend. I haven't seen her forever, and since I am so close, I thought I would spend some time with her." I felt awful for lying to Esme, but she was a direct link to him, so it had to be.

I could tell she looked disappointed, and I wasn't sure if it was due to the fact I was leaving, or the fact she had been entrusted with keeping me here. When the cab pulled up I thanked her for her hospitality and told her I would be seeing her again soon. I could only imagine her anger when she saw her beautifully decorated home covered in graffiti, but I really hoped she would make Edward pay to have it removed.

I rented a car and drove downtown to make a visit to the law firm Edward represented. I walked into the small office to find a beautiful woman sitting behind a cherry desk. I spoke quietly incase Mr. Laurent was in and asked, "I am looking for representation for a case I want to file. Is there someone here I can talk with?"

"What kind of case?" she asked with a friendly smile.

"I have a stalker I want to sue," I said and tried to look distraught.

"I'm sorry, we only handle cases dealing with international law, and it sounds like you have a criminal matter."

"I thought this firm was handling the murder case in Forks?" I asked and watched for any nervous reaction.

"Oh, yes we are, but that is only as a favor to a large benefactor. It isn't something we would customarily handle."

"I see," I smiled, "Maybe I need to find my own benefactor," I teased and she laughed along with me.

I didn't bother asking who it was, it would only raise suspicion and I was sure she wouldn't tell me. I headed to Forks with my mind reeling and trying to connect my own dots. Someone wanted the killer of Mr. Banner to pay, but whom? What would a small town science teacher have of value? It had to be something so big they would willingly overlook his propensity for pedophilia. Unless…maybe that was exactly the commodity he was providing.

I pushed harder on the gas and knew I needed to do something that terrified me just to think about. I had to go back into that underground tunnel and look for recording devices.

I didn't go home; I wanted Edward to believe I was in Tacoma, so I headed to Jessica's house. She looked so relieved to see me and fell into my open arms. I smoothed her hair and assured her everything was fine.

"Bella, Jake looks really guilty. They are making a big deal out of his drinking and partying along with rumors about him messing around on Leah. It looks like Banner was going to tell her and Jake killed him to stop it."

"Shit, I didn't think about the state coming up with a plausible motive," I said as I tried to think.

"Lauren said we need to be patient because the defense hasn't presented their case yet. She believes the momentum will switch then," Jessica said to ease her own mind. "What are we going to do, Bella?"

"Jake is innocent, and Edward Cullen will prove it," I said with conviction because I knew how hard he would work to find the right killer.

I waited for the cover of darkness and drove to first beach. I removed my shoes and put on a pair of moccasins to make my way to the large outcropping of boulders on Mr. Banner's property. I felt the urge to vomit and knew I would have to fight it; there would be DNA if I couldn't contain my stomach contents.

I climbed over the first boulder, and between the second two, and dropped to the floor. I turned on the flashlight and made me way down the narrow walkway until I came to the hand dug inner chambers. I searched the walls without touching them for anything that looked like a camera could be hidden away.

I had spent many tortured hours in these chambers and thought I knew every square inch of the place, but most of the time was spent crying and wishing I was dead, so I could have easily missed something. I realized each room had a rock in the corner of the ceiling. I turned the flashlight and tapped on it softly, only to hear the hollow sound of manufactured material.

I turned and ran, trying to keep my tears from falling to the ground. I climbed from the interior and down to the beach to let my devastation free. I fell into the waves and cried out, feeling a fresh pain to add on top of all the other. We had been filmed and our violations had been sent around the world for other sick people to view.

I felt the desire to continue further into the surf and let the cold blackness claim me once and for all. I couldn't look at the people I had watched for years break into smaller and smaller pieces and tell them it was worse than we knew. I couldn't look into their eyes and tell them we had condemned ourselves to death for fighting back.

I was also terrified deep in my soul that the only way out of this mess was to repeat our actions and get rid of Edward, too. I looked up at the full moon and cried for all the wrong turns along the way. We should have told someone regardless of the threats. We tried so hard to be strong and lean on each other. It only made us weaker.

I made my way back to the car and drove home. I didn't care if Edward knew I was there. Nothing mattered anymore, except making sure Jake didn't pay for our stupidity. I took a hot shower and changed into warm pajama's to stop the shivering of my body. I climbed into my bed and let my mind wander over the years of torture.

Everyone loved Mr. Banner. He was able to relate to kids and came up with fun projects to keep us interested in science. It was during the unit on natural erosion when he took us in small groups to the dark tunnels behind his house. We returned to school quiet and withdrawn. He told us how special we were and how advanced we acted, by doing things other kids did at a much older age. We never felt special or advanced.

He told us he could tell how much we enjoyed our playtime and if we ever told he would let our parents know what we had done. That worked for awhile, but then he controlled us by promising not to touch other children, as long as we would return when we were told.

Our senior year he stopped teaching, and told us we had grown too old for him. He actually wished us a happy life, as if years of memories could be easily erased. We watched him closely and took turns checking the small traps we set up in the tunnels to make sure he didn't find other children to torture. He seemed to have simply lost all interest, while our obsession with stopping him grew.

The moment he put in his application to be a substitute teacher we decided to act.

9

I heard Edward leave the following morning and when he reached the bottom of the stairs he must have noticed the rental car. I listened as his feet climbed back to the hallway and a soft knock sounded on my door. I froze and remained quiet. He tried the door to find it locked and left again.

I waited for his car to drive away before I got out of bed and dressed for the day. I entered the courtroom behind a crowd of spectators, mostly from the Quileute tribe, and sat in the back corner, slumped down in the seat.

Edward never spoke to Jake and seemed totally lost in his papers. The prosecution called a man from Wyoming to the stand.

"Mr. White, do you know the defendant Jacob Black?"

"Yes, I met him at a gun show."

"Did he purchase anything from you?"

"No, he asked about acquiring rare weapons, especially early rifles or specialty knives."

"Did you find any for him?"

"No, we talked about auctions and museums; he had a lot of knowledge."

"No further questions."

Edward stood and walked up to the stand and pointed back at Jake. "Sir, did you know Mr. Black was from the Quileute tribe?"

"No, I mean I knew he was an Ind…I mean a Native American, but I didn't know which tribe."

"Did he tell you his interest in antique weaponry related to his heritage?"

"Yeah, I think he said something about finding weapons the Natives would have used."

"Did you know he is next in line to run his tribe?"

"Objection, not relative," the prosecutor called out.

"Sustained," he judge ruled.

"No further questions," Edward said.

The prosecutor stood and said, "Mr. White, did Jacob Black ever gesture with one of your weapons or handle one?"

"Yes, he picked up a knife and pretended to run it across his neck."

"Did he say anything when he did that?"

"Yes, he said, "this ought to do it.'"

I noticed how Edward's shoulders seemed to slump and I knew Jake was in real trouble. I heard the prosecution rest and hoped Edward had something magical up his sleeve. He called Leah to the stand first. She was reminded she was still under oath and sat arrogantly on the stand.

"Ms. Clearwater, how long have you known Jake?"

"My whole life."

"How long have you dated, please refresh our memories?"

"Off and on for about ten years."

"Was he faithful?"

"Hell no," she laughed and I tensed.

"Were you with him on the night in question?"

"No."

"Did you know where he was?"

"No."

"Do you know when he got home?"

"The next morning about eight."

"How do you know he didn't return until eight?"

"I waited for him at his house."

"Did he appear agitated or worried?"

"Not at all, he said he slept at a friend's and seemed in a good mood."

I noticed how Edward ruffled at her statement, but maybe I was only imagining it.

"Was he carrying anything; groceries, mail, videos?"

I saw Jake stiffen and look casually around the room until our eyes locked. I could see the anger in his face and felt I had helped the authorities trap him.

"Not that I recall."

"Did he ever mention Mr. Banner?"

"Once, we were at the fourth of July parade and the bumped into each other. Jake pushed him harshly and when I asked him why he said the guy was a pervert."

"He used the word pervert?"

"Yes."

"Did he say why he used that word?"

"No, and I didn't ask."

"Did anyone else talk to you about Mr. Banner?"

"Yeah, when he was killed I asked Angela if she was sad and she said he wouldn't be missed."

"Angela?"

"Yeah, Angela Webber."

I was beginning to panic. Edward was pressing her about things other than Jake and I hoped he had a strategy in mind aside from pointing the finger at others. He finished with Leah and the prosecution didn't even use rebuttal time. Edward talked to the judge and there was a ten minute recess called. It was at that point he noticed me in the courtroom.

His surprise showed on his face and I glared at him with loathing. He spoke with Jake and they seemed to be having a very difficult time being civil to each other. When the room was called to order Edward hesitated when given the floor. He stood slowly and glanced at Jake a couple of times before finally saying, "The defense calls Isabella Swan to the stand."

My heart dropped and the prosecution jumped up in anger that my name wasn't on the witness list. "This is new information I just gathered and I also would like Ms. Swan to be considered a hostile witness," Edward said with a tight voice.

I wasn't sure which emotion was stronger, my anger or my fear. I hated Edward with a depth I didn't know was possible, except when associated with Mr. Banner. I was called forward by the clerk and placed under oath. My entire body was shaking and it took Edward a couple of tries to finally look at me.

"Ms. Swan, do you know Jacob Black." I nodded and Edward cleared his throat. "You have to speak, Ms. Swan."

I only stared hatefully so the judge instructed me to answer. "Yes," I said clearly.

"How would you define your relationship?"

"I've know Jake my whole life, we are friends."

"Only friends?" he pushed.

"Go to hell," I said softly.

Edward's eyes snapped up to look at me and I could see his jaw set in anger. "Will the court please admonish Ms. Swan to answer the question?"

"Who is the wealthy benefactor?" I asked and watched his face pale instantly.

"Ms. Swan, answer the question or be held in contempt," the judge ruled.

"Yes, only friends."

"Were you aware of Mr. Black's whereabouts on the night in question?"

I felt my eyes fill with tears and Edward's face became very pained. "Why are you doing this?" I asked softly.

"Answer the question," he pushed and I shook my head back and forth. "Permission to approach the witness," Edward asked and it was granted. He walked up to the witness stand and placed his hand on the railing. "Bella, please answer."

"I found the recorder in the spare room," I told him in a whisper and watched his eyes dart around nervously. He walked over to open his briefcase and pulled out a video case and held it up. My stomach fell into my feet.

"I will ask you again, Ms. Swan, do you know where Jacob Black was at the time in question." My tears fell from my eyes and I covered my face with my hands. He walked up to the railing and spoke loudly. "I asked you a question."

"I hate you," I screamed at him, but he didn't relent.

"Yes or No," he screamed back at me.

I looked at Jake and his eyes were pleading for me to lie, but Edward had the tape which was hidden in my room. He also had the recording of our talk in Seattle. I had only one avenue of action and I took a deep breath and said clearly. "I will not answer any of your questions."

"You will go to jail," he threatened and I saw a look of relief in his eyes.

"I would rather sit in jail than look at you for another moment."

"Have it your way," he said as he walked away. "Your honor, I would ask the court to hold Ms. Swan in contempt."

I looked up at Judge Bolton, who had been in my home for dinner many times, and begged him to let me go home. He asked me with a gentle voice, "Bella, please answer the question."

I looked over at Edward and he tapped his finger on the video case. I wanted something to throw at him, or shoot him with. I began to cry very loudly and Jake stood in anger. The bailiff quickly grabbed him around the waist to pull him from the room as he screamed at Edward.

"You son-of-a-bitch, you were supposed to do your job, you made it personal and this is only because you are jealous. You climbed in her bed to use her, you bastard."

The judge began pounding his gavel for order as everyone gasped and spoke among themselves. Leah stood and glared at me until I looked away, then she left the room. The only one left totally unfazed was Edward. He waited for the room to calm and then asked the judge for a ruling.

"Bella, if you don't answer you will be arrested and held until you agree to answer counsel's questions."

I turned to look at Edward. I tried to find a hint of the man who brought me pleasure, but I only saw a legal shark, willing to do anything to win the case. Jake was innocent, and he could have found a better way to prove it. I finally shook my head back and forth and said, "I won't answer."

I was declared in contempt and put in handcuffs and taken to the jail. My father walked into the booking room with such a pained expression it put me into tears again. He walked over to take hold of my shoulders and leaned down to my eyes. "We'll get this fixed Bella, you just hang on and I'll get you out of this."

I nodded and he handed me a tissue. I knew when this was over my father would be beating himself up for not realizing what was going on right under his nose. I ached for the pain coming for so many parents and wished more than anything I could turn back time.

I was led to a cell and I sat on the small bunk. I had the cell to myself due to the usual lack of crime Forks had to offer. I pulled into the fetal position and stayed that way all day. It was after my dinner tray had been removed when I heard footsteps coming toward my cell. I assumed it was my father, checking on me before he left work for the day.

I was stunned to see Edward step into view. He pulled a chair up to the bars and sat at the head of my small bunk. I was leaning against the wall and watched as he let his head fall between his hands. I couldn't find it in me to feel anything for him.

He finally spoke without looking up, "Why did you come here, I asked you to stay away." I turned my head and stared at the opposite wall. "Damn it, Bella," he said as his voice broke.

"He filmed us," I said with a monotone voice. "He did horrible things to us and then made us do them with each other as he filmed us."

I heard Edward sniff a couple of times, but I didn't look to see if he was crying. I continued to stare at the blank wall and wondered if the plain white surface ever wished it could be painted beautiful colors.

"I put you here for your own safety," he said and I felt like laughing, but I didn't. I only looked at him.

He picked up his briefcase and opened it to reveal my moccasins, stamped with my label, a B, which the top section alone looked like a crescent moon, and my Gorkha knife. He quickly shut the lid and looked around nervously.

"I'll get you convicted if I think it will keep you safe," he said and I didn't understand.

"Isn't getting me convicted what you are trying to do?" I asked him.

"I knew you wouldn't throw everyone under the buss over the video. I needed to get you in here, Bella. I am not the person you need to fear. I am trying to save you."

"Who is the benefactor?" I asked again.

"I don't know. But I am being threatened too. I need to find out who Banner had contact with to save you all. Someone is feeding the prosecution information to convict Jake to bring you guys into the open. You have to tell me everything, Bella. I can't save Jake, or anyone else, if you don't give me everything."

"How did you get my stuff?" I asked and nodded to the briefcase.

"The prosecution asked me if you had anything in your studio that could be the murder weapon. They thought you were hiding it for Jake. I instantly thought of the sculpture."

"Did you give that to them?" I asked wondering why it was in his briefcase.

"No, I want to know what happened first."

"I don't feel I can trust you, I'm so confused," I said with tears.

"Bella, I am doing everything I can to keep you alive. I'm missing too much of the story to make the best decisions. Please trust me enough to save your life, I am begging you."

I looked into his eyes, his beautiful eyes, and tried to decide what the right decision would be. He held all the card and I had to either make Edward the enemy while trying to save Jake myself, or join forces and find who was behind the attempt at finding Banner's killer.

I finally nodded and leaned closer to say, "If you betray me, I will kill you myself."


	4. Chapter 4

10

He called for someone to let him into my cell and came over to sit next to me. He leaned over to speak quietly, "Keep your voice low and start from the beginning."

I leaned over to speak directly into his ear and he chuckled and moved back a little. "Um… not like that," he said with a smile and I ended up smiling, too.

"There is a natural tunnel leading from the beach to Banner's house. He dug playrooms at the end of the tunnel next to the house. When we found out he was going to teach again we met on the beach late at night. We decided to draw straws so nobody would know who was responsible or when it would be done. We hid weapons of all kinds, so the person could choose and we wouldn't know how he was killed either. After it happened the weapons would be returned and we would all help hide them."

"Who drew straws?"

"Me, Angela, Jessica, Mike, Eric, Lauren, Tyler and Jordan."

"Why only eight?"

"We were the only ones willing to kill the bastard. I never considered him a human being, and I could have easily done it, but I didn't draw the small straw."

"You said he was filming you?"

"Yes, and I only found out last night. I think whoever paid to have you find the killer made money off the videos. Or maybe was a relative of Banners. Why don't you know who is paying your bill?"

He gave me an exhausted look and said yet again, "I just passed the bar. This is my first case."

"Boy, you can sure pick em," I teased and he shook his head in disgust.

We sat quietly for a bit as the reality of our situation settled in our minds. To save himself he needed to turn on me, and he had all the pieces in place to do just that. I had to concentrate on the fact he was sitting here trying desperately to find a way not to.

"I wrote horrible things on your bedroom walls with permanent marker," I confessed as I leaned my head on his shoulder.

"What?" he asked with a disbelieving tone.

"Dark green."

"Wait, you did what?"

"I questioned your lineage, accused you of procreating with your mother, and told you to propel foreign genitalia inside a bodily orifice. Only I used terms understood by popular culture."

He sat in stunned silence and finally asked, "If I bring my briefcase in here, can I get you to put your prints all over the murder weapon?"

I laughed and then gave him more bad news. "They already are, we all made sure to handle the various weapons," I said and caused him to groan loudly.

"We need a plan," he said with a sigh.

"We need a miracle," I added.

"I feel I should tell you something, just so you are aware. Jake is completely in love with you, he told me outright."

I raised my head and stared at his face to see if he was being serious. Jake and I often told each other we loved one another. It wasn't a passionate love, it was an understanding, a need to know someone had your back no matter what.

"Jake loves me, but he is IN love with Leah," I explained.

"No, he isn't. We talked about this in depth and we need to use it," he said cautiously.

"What do you mean?"

"I need to turn in the weapon and the moccasins. It will turn the attention to you, and then we can bring forth the tape to give you both an alibi, saying you're secret lovers until he could find a way to break it to Leah. What you say about the stuff from the sculpture is up to you."

"You want me to pretend to be having a relationship with Jake?" I asked for clarification.

"You were having a relationship with him, it just meant more to him than it did to you," he said as he looked at my surprised face.

"Edward, I will do anything I can to stop you from finding out who killed Banner. I will protect my friends."

"Maybe we should find out who hired me, instead," he offered and I smiled and threw my arms around his neck. He was going to give up on his personal quest and go after the person threatening him. I was crazy about Edward Cullen at this moment and would offer him all my trust.

"Well, I have a lot of work to do. I'll have you brought in front of the court tomorrow to introduce the video. It should turn the jury to his favor. I need to see Banner's computer, do you know anyone willing to take an illegal look at his hard drive?"

"Eric is the man you want."

He stood and I looked up at his smiling face and felt a huge grin break out on mine. He took my hand and pulled me into his arms as my heart pounded loudly. I melted against him, feeling the same excitement I felt earlier, and amazed at how he stirred such feelings in me.

"I want to apologize for what I'll have to do tomorrow," he said in just a whisper.

"It's okay, I'll get more markers," I said and his mouth twitched.

"May I kiss you?"

"Please do," I said as I moved onto my tiptoes.

He gave me a very soft kiss, thick with restraint, and I longed to feel him give way and let his emotions rule him, but that would have to come later. We had some really hard moments ahead of us. I watched him leave my cell, pick up his briefcase, give me a quick wink, and walk away. Mr. Banner was still managing to take things away from my heart.

I was called before the court the following morning and arrived in my same clothes. Edward wouldn't meet my gaze and Jake looked livid. I sat in the witness box and Edward spoke without looking up.

"Ms. Swan, do you know where Jacob Black was the night in question?"

"Yes, he spent the night with me," I said clearly.

I heard several gasps and Edward continued on. "Are you sure it was the same night?"

"Yes."

"How do you know?"

"We made a video. It has a time and date stamp."

Edward picked up the recording and offered it into evidence.

"Ms. Swan, do you recognize the picture on the screen," he asked.

I looked up to see a picture of a pair of my moccasins with the brand stamp showing. "Yes, those are moccasins I produce with my initials," I responded.

He brought up the next picture of my knife and asked the same question. "Yes, it is a knife I was given by a shop in Santa Fe in exchange for some product."

"Did you loan the knife and moccasins to anyone?"

"No, I did not." I wasn't lying directly. I never gave them as a loan and we didn't know what the person would choose to use.

Someone walked through the courtroom doors and handed Edward a piece of paper. He read the contents of the page and looked up to say, "That is all, Ms. Swan."

He handed the paper to the prosecution and they took a few moments and finally said, "We have nothing further."

I walked off the stand and past Edward without him even glancing at me. Jake looked worn out and I wanted to offer him a hug. I walked out the door to find Leah waiting for me. I stamped my foot, wanting just a moment to enjoy the relief I was feeling.

"Leah, don't," I said harshly.

"I should have known," she said hatefully. "You always needed Jake for one reason or another."

"I need Jake to be my friend and that is it. When I get the tape back I'll let you watch it, so you can see for yourself nothing happened."

"You made a tape of nothing?" she said in disbelief.

"No, we made a tape of trying to do something, but it didn't work out."

"Is that supposed to be better?" she asked in anger.

"Leah, you have no idea how messed up I am. You are better than me in every way. Jake is yours not mine. Can't that be enough?" I was so tired of this fight. I had no idea how it was going to end but I felt the end was at least in sight and that gave me hope.

I walked out the door and headed right for Mike's barn. He was sitting in the corner, high as usual, and I wondered if he would have been able to resist drugs if Banner had never entered his life. I sat next to him and he looked at me with glassy eyes. "Hey, Bells, are you really here or am I hallucinating?"

"I'm here Mike. I need to ask you something and I know we said we would never tell, but this is just between you and me. Did you do it?"

"Naw, did you?" he asked and I shook my head.

"I wanted it to be me," he confessed. "I wanted to cut him so deep his head would come clear off. I was actually pissed I pulled a long straw."

"Yeah, I know. I fanaticized about him begging for help. I would have loved to hear him beg," I said only because I knew Mike wouldn't remember our conversation later. I reached over and took his hand. "Mike, you need to go to rehab, you deserve a great life and this isn't it."

"I'm fine," he mumbled and shut his eyes.

"No, you're not, and we are going to find a place for you. We all need help, Mike. We are so afraid and he still wins if we ruin our lives."

His eyes filled with tears and slid down his face as he spoke from his heart. "I was a good kid, Bella. Why did he hurt me, I was a good kid."

"You were a great kid, Mike. You were our strength when we weren't sure we could go on. We do this together, okay. Can you be strong one more time, just one?"

He smiled and his head bobbed. "Yeah Bells, together."

I kissed his cheek and left to find Lauren and Eric. They were together before Eric left for his logging job. I sat on the couch and looked into their eyes. I deduced if one of them drew the small straw they would have acted together. "I didn't do it, did either of you?"

"You didn't?" Lauren asked with shock, "I would have sworn it was you."

"Why?" I asked a bit insulted.

"Because it was done so clean, I would have cut his balls off. You had the control to get in and get out," she explained.

I looked at Eric and he shook his head and admitted something difficult, "I'm not sure I would have gone through with it if I drew the small straw."

"Are you two a couple?" I asked and they both laughed but I pushed further. "I know how hard intimacy is and I want you to know it is okay to feel desires for each other. We need to find therapists to help us. Will you both promise me to get help?"

"Bella, we need to keep a cork in this bottle," Eric said. "If we let this out it is going to ripple though the whole town."

"Then move, Eric. You have a great job, so move somewhere new and get some help."

They looked at each other and gave a very slight nod. I offered them both a hug and left to find Tyler. He was working at the post office and when I walked in, he tensed. I wrote a quick note and when I got to his window I asked about designer stamps and pushed the note to him.

He read it quickly and said, "I'm sorry we have never used those stamps. Try a shipping service."

"I've never used them either," I said. "How are you Tyler?"

"Better, I sleep much better now."

I nodded and walked away.

I dreaded going to Jordan's house. He had the most difficult time processing his pain. He refused to leave his house and called the police over any little noise. He lived with his widowed mother and rarely came out of his room.

I knocked on his door and his mother gave me permission to go to his room. I called out softly for him and heard him come to the door. "Bella," he said softly from the other side.

"Jordan, can I come in?"

"I can't touch the knob," he cried, so I tried it, but found it locked.

I leaned my head on the door and spoke quietly. "Jordan, remember how I would take your hand and tell you to concentrate on my hand?"

"Yes," he said as he continued to cry.

"I'm holding out my hand, please take it."

"I try to wash it off, it doesn't come off," he said still speaking through the door.

"Jordan, it's gone. I promise it is gone now."

"Do you want me to come to the beach?" he asked and I felt so guilty.

"No sweetie, you can stay here and never come to the beach again. But can I send someone to talk to you, someone to help?"

"I got the long straw," he said. "I can't clean it off because I got a long straw."

"Jordan, I promise if you get help you will be able to take pictures again. Would you like that?" I asked and prayed he would find joy in taking nature pictures again like he did in high school.

"Okay," he finally said.

"Can I visit again sometime?" I asked as my voice broke.

"Bella," he called out.

"Yes, Jordan."

"I would like it if you visited again. You're my friend."

"You're my friend, too. Bye Jordan."

I left there in tears and wished I could find a way to kill Banner all over again. He should have to pay for taking the light out of bright, hopeful kids. He got off easy.

I only had one more stop. I knew it wasn't Jessica. She would not have been able to keep it to herself and would have told me if she had done it. It left Angela. I never believed she would be capable of following through, but I didn't know the secret rage inside her heart. I called her at the station and asked her to call my cell.

It was only five minutes later when my phone rang. "Ang, just say yes or no, that's it."

"No," she said and I hung up in shock.

It had been Jessica and she kept quiet about it. I made the last stop at her house and she ran to give me a hug when I entered through the kitchen. I held her in my arms and rocked her back and forth. "I'm so sorry you had to do it, Jess."

She pulled back and gave me a confused look before saying, "I didn't do it."

11

Somebody was lying and I didn't have a clue who it was. I thought over all the answers again and they seemed genuine. Maybe they thought I was only testing them to see if they had the strength to truly remain quiet about what we had done. I would have to meet with them again and dig deeper. I also planned on calling some professionals in to help us when the trial was over.

I drove home and saw Edward's car. I ran up to his room and he answered the door with a paper in his hand. I took it and looked at the typed forensic report. My knife blade didn't match up to the slice across Banner's throat, and the moccasins were too small to match up the heel with the stamp.

I looked up at Edward with confusion. "You didn't have the murder weapon, it must have been one of the others," he explained but I shook my head.

"It was the only curved blade. And I just spoke to everyone; I don't think we did this. I mean we planned to do it, and someone got the short straw, but I don't think it was us who actually got to him."

Edward's jaw tightened and he paced for a few moments before speaking, "Bella, could have it been Jake?"

"No, he was here the whole night."

"Damn it, this could be totally unrelated to what happened years ago. He might be into something new. I need you to take me to Eric," he demanded and I nodded in agreement.

"Can I clean up first?" I asked and he smiled softly.

"May I join you?" he asked with a crooked smile.

Just then someone knocked on my door across the hall. I opened Edward's door to see my father standing in the hallway. "Never mind," Edward whispered and I laughed loudly.

"Hey dad," I said and stepped forward to give him a tight hug.

"What are you messed up in, Bella?" he asked with concern.

I sighed loudly and I remained in his arms and said, "Dad, I will sit down with you when this is all over. But I want you to know you are such a great daddy."

I lost my bravado and sobbed loudly in his arms. I wished I had done this the day we were taken to the tunnel. Children are so afraid of disappointing their parents that monsters easily prey on them. I wanted to be the daddy's girl he thought me to be. But now I knew I needed to stand up and be the woman he thought me to be.

"Do you have any idea who did this, dad?"

"It has to be someone local, someone who could come and go without worry of being noticed."

"Banner walked the beach a lot, maybe he met someone on the beach," I said to give him a new lead.

"It would have been easier to lure him to the beach and let the tide take his body out to sea. Or take him deep into the forest where animals would disperse his body. Someone wanted him found to make a statement."

I finally pulled myself from his arms and headed for a shower. Edward and I stopped for dinner at the local diner as we waited for Eric's shift to end. I began telling him about the eight of us who volunteered for the ghastly mission.

"Mike was big for his age; he looked like a man in eighth grade. We just assumed he was strong emotionally and we leaned on him so much. He turned to drugs to deal with his pain. He's an unemployed junkie when he should have been playing ball in college and dating prom queens."

"Eric and Lauren can't make it through a day without one another, but they are too messed up to be intimate. I am so afraid they will spend their lives in love, but never able to express it."

"Jesus," Edward said and shook his head. "I can't even imagine what you all went through."

"Jordan is messed up the most. He is going to spend his life in the darkness because the light terrifies him. He used to see beauty through a lens the rest of us couldn't see; now all he sees is ugliness. And Jessica thinks she needs me for love."

I looked at my shaking hands and decided to get everything out into the open now; before I was in so deep it would hurt me to lose Edward. "He would make us do stuff with each other. Jess and I were favorites of his. How am I supposed to tell her the memories of touching her make me want to vomit? How do I do that?"

"You don't, a mental health professional does," he said as he took my hand into his.

"Edward, you have a great family and you just passed the bar," I said and heard him laugh. "You don't want me."

"I have a scar on my ass," he said and my eyes looked up at him and I laughed. "You didn't even notice it because it happened so long ago."

"But your scar isn't still bleeding," I said as my tears fell.

"When I broke into your studio to prove you were the murderer and get my client off," he said and I kicked him under the table. "I looked at your work. It was like staring into your heart. You create amazing things, Bella. That is what I see when I look at you, the amazing things coming from your heart."

It was such an incredible feeling to have someone like Edward say complimentary things about me. He made me believe I had a happy life out there waiting for me. I had to somehow make the other's believe too.

"I spoke with my mother," he said to pull me right back into my self loathing.

"Oh God, does she hate me?" I asked.

"The obscene pictures were a bit much, don't you think?" He laughed.

"I'm an artist, I couldn't just use words."

"She understands, and it gave her an excuse to turn my room into a sewing room. I'm homeless because of you," he laughed and I squeezed his hands.

"I'll keep you," I said softly and he smiled. "So, tell me about the scar on your ass."

He laughed and his eyes lit up with the happy family memories running through his head. "My grandparents owned a vacation home on a small island off of Brazil. We used to go there every summer. Emmett and I were tandem skiing and he yelled for me to cross the wake and switch places. We just didn't work out who would cross in front and who would cross in back. We collided and his ski broke in half and sliced my ass cheek."

"Do they still own the place?" I asked having an epiphany.

"They both passed, my father owns it now, why?"

"This is probably too big of a favor to ask, but I was thinking of taking everyone to the island with some shrinks, you know isolate us so we could face our demons instead of running from them."

"You could use the place for free, but wouldn't it be a lot of money to hire shrinks and take everyone to Brazil?"

I laughed and said something to shock him. "I have money. My sculpture outside of the capital in South Dakota sold for half a million."

He froze and stared at me with a stunned face. I waited for him to react but he only stared so I clicked my fingers in front of his face.

"I wondered how you could afford to take one drag off a cigarette and toss it, I thought you were supported by your parents," he laughed.

"No, my room isn't in their house," I teased him.

"Passing the bar is very difficult," he said with a pout and to defend his honor.

"Oh I know, did you get a trophy for your shelf when you passed?"

"Why do you insist on tainting my little league triumphs?"

"Don't all the kids get a trophy? I think it is part of the fee to play, so you actually bought yourself trophies," I pointed out.

"I'm getting the knife tested again," he mumbled and I laughed loudly at his totally inappropriate teasing. It was a simple meal at a small diner, but Edward managed to make me fall deeper in love with him.

We were sitting outside of Eric's apartment when he pulled up from work. I introduced him to Edward and noticed how his guard went up immediately. We followed him into the house and Lauren joined us so we all sat together in the small living room.

"Eric, Edward needs you to look at Banner's hard drive on his computer so we can prove Jake innocent."

"I thought it would be a slam dunk and he would walk?" he asked cautiously.

"It isn't Jake I'm worried about. Someone wants me to prove who killed Banner, Jake is only a distraction."

Eric looked at Lauren and guilt was written all over their faces. I took a deep breath and said, "Guys, he knows."

They looked at Edward with shame and my heart broke a little more. "Someone hired me to come here and solve this case. I have no idea who it is and I think they plan on taking out the murderer. I need to see his hard drive so I can figure out who is behind all of this."

"Can't you just make up a name?" they asked Edward.

"My life is being threatened, too," he said and for the first time I truly realized what he was risking for me.

"So do you have the computer with you?" Eric asked and Edward gave me a worried look.

"I'll go with you," I said softly to help Eric understand what we were asking of him. His face turned pale white and his hands began to shake.

"You're kidding, right?"

"I'm sorry," I said with tears, "But our lives depend on it. I'll go with you, and if you need something for your nerves I'll ask Mike."

"Let Jake take the fall," he said angrily, "And this case may end up costing you your life, lawyer."

"Eric," I said softly, "This isn't us, we don't hurt innocent people. We need to stop Banner from beyond the grave and end it once and for all. None of us killed him; someone else had to do our job for us. Let's do what we can to save Edward and Jake."

He finally nodded and I stood to take his hand, "Come on, you'll be fine. Do you have a jump drive for the computer?"

"Yeah, I'll get what I need."

I worried about making things so much worse for Eric by taking him back into the tunnel, but I forced myself to concentrate on the fact we could be killed if we didn't get the information we needed. His hands were sweaty and shaking so I tightened my hold.

I had given him a pair of moccasins without a mark and some gloves for his hand before entering the tunnel. We both carried flashlights and I could tell by the shadow he grew more nervous as we neared the rooms.

I moved the fake wall myself and we climbed into the structure of the house. It looked…normal. There was nothing to show a monster resided here for years. Once we found the computer Eric seemed to calm quite a bit.

He went right to work downloading everything onto his portable device and we were done in less than an hour. We returned to the tunnel and I was shock to see Eric stop and look into the rooms. He walked inside and glanced around at the dirt walls. "Why didn't we think to fight, we could have taken him, especially with Mike, why didn't it occur to us?"

"We were trying to make it through each day, Eric. We didn't have anything extra; we were fighting to simply exist."

He nodded and let out a long breath. "I love her, you know, I just don't know how to show her."

"I have a plan to fix it all. We're going to be happy, Eric, I promise."

"We need to level this place. Do you think Mike can get some dynamite?" he asked being totally serious.

"Oh sure, a huge explosion wouldn't make anyone suspicious," I laughed and reached my hand out for his and we headed back toward the beach.

Edward seemed so relieved when we walked through the door and held his hand out for the device. I assumed we would all sit around Eric's computer and look at the files, but Edward had other ideas.

"I'm not letting you see this. I'll handle it from here. Pack your bags and get ready for Brazil."

Lauren and Eric both looked at me and I smiled widely. "We're going to paradise guys."

12

Of course it was not that easy. I had a lot of planning to do and it took all of my time. Edward had rested for the defense and the prosecution was calling rebuttal witnesses. I found two therapists from San Francisco willing to spend several weeks with us on the island.

I worried about getting Mike and Jordan all the way to Brazil. Mike would have dangerous withdraws and Jordan's anxiety could send him into crisis. I found the solution in the most unexpected place. Edward's father, Dr. Cullen, agreed to travel with us and keep the two men hydrated and under a doctor's supervision.

I also watched Edward begin to retreat deeper and deeper into himself as he studied the files from Banner's computer. Whenever I asked him about it, he would dismiss my concerns. He admitted only once he had some pretty decent leads to follow, but wouldn't elaborate.

The night before my group was leaving I went with Edward to Sam's club. I tried everything I could to get him engaged in our conversation, but he was quiet and sullen. I finally asked him what I had been too terrified to ask for the entire week.

"Have you seen things that made you think differently of me?"

He opened his mouth but nothing would come out. I looked into his watery eyes and knew I was losing him. It was one thing to hear about my past, it was a totally other thing to see it. I nodded for a moment and finally asked, "Can we still use your island, not for me, but for the others?"

"Bella," he said just barely over the music. "You have no idea how much I admire you. I feel almost unable to function because of what I have seen. I don't understand how this sickness can exist in the world. I know things I don't want to know," he said and I knew that feeling intimately.

"Edward, don't ruin your amazing spirit for us. Let it go and leave Forks. Go home to a loving family and forget about this ugliness. I couldn't bare it if it ruined you," I said through my tears.

Sam walked up at that minute and I asked about Emily. I noticed how Edward tensed and wanted to let him know I would not ask about the baby. Sam looked so stressed and I made sure to give him an extra large tip. I wished problems like Sam and Emily's were all the trouble the world had to offer, but I knew differently and now so did Edward.

We headed home early, both stuck in a somber mood. When I reached for my door knob he placed his hand on my arm. I looked up at his sad eyes and he nodded toward his room, "Please," he said softly and I took his hand in mine.

When we entered his room, he left the lights off and reached out to remove my sweater. I didn't move and let him slowly remove my clothing. He pulled me into his arms and spoke softly into my ear. "I needed to see something beautiful, you're body is beautiful, Bella."

"If you need me Edward, I'm yours," I told him and prayed I could follow through if it was what he needed.

"I need to hold you," he said and led me to his bed. I unbuttoned his shirt and let it fall to the ground. He didn't stop my hands when I moved to his jeans, so I completely unclothed him. He pulled me back into his arms and kissed my shoulders softly.

I was breathing heavily from his tender touch and he was becoming aroused. I tried to concentrate on him, the feel of his muscle under his skin, the smell of cigarettes and cologne, and the soft kisses that set my body on fire.

I was losing control of my limbs as they moved frantically against him. I had always been told what to do and how to move. I had never let my body go, to love someone freely. It was a consuming feeling to be unable to control my body's reactions.

He suddenly pulled away and fell onto his back with his eyes shut tightly. I wasn't sure what it meant but when he said, "I can't," I knew he was rejecting me. With Jake I had always felt broken or damaged, but Edward had just made me feel dirty.

I stayed perfectly still until I heard his steady breathing. I climbed out of his bed and headed to my own room before I sobbed loudly into my pillow.

We took a van the next morning into Seattle and I could tell Mike was very medicated. Angela sat with her arm around Jordan as he stared at the floor without blinking. None of us spoke as we wallowed in the painful memories which propelled us on this trip.

I tried not to cry when I saw Carlisle waiting at the ticket counter. He checked Mike first and started him drinking heavy amounts of water. Jordan seemed to have him worried the most. He gave him a pill to swallow and wrapped a blanket around his shoulders.

We were one seriously fucked up group and depression began weighing me down. I had a window seat and I stared into the expansive nothingness and wondered if there was a chance in hell we would ever be happy. I thought I had found happiness, but my life was too much for Edward to handle.

Mike handled the trip well until we climbed in a boat to be ferried to the island. He was hallucinating and thought alligators were trying to climb into the boat. Dr. Cullen finally had to sedate him with a shot and as we flew across the water I looked at Mike's large, limp body and wondered how we were going to get him out of the boat.

Jessica scooted next to me and put her head on my shoulder. I closed my eyes as the need to vomit tried to overtake me. All of my confidence was gone. I didn't know what I had been thinking when I came up with this plan. At least before we were able to pretend we were normal. I felt like I had pulled the final floor out from under us and we were all falling into the abyss.

When we pulled up to a dock I looked around to see a large home sitting on an outcropping of land. It was beautiful and under any other circumstance it would truly be paradise. I was stunned to see several people walking down the dock toward us and I looked at Carlisle.

"Volunteers, offering to help," he told me and I looked back at the generous people who stepped forward on our behalf. It restored a bit of my faith in the human race.

Two large men, obviously here as the muscle to keep things under control pulled Mike from the boat and down the dock. We formed a tight huddle, still finding strength as a group, and headed to the house.

A man and woman, both doctors, stepped forward to introduce themselves. "We're Drs. Masen," the man said. "My wife and I specialize in this type of treatment. You're safe," he said emphatically, but he knew none of us would believe it just yet.

Carlisle took Jordan into the house and sat him in a chair before checking his vitals again. I walked over and knelt next to him and smiled when he finally glanced at me. "You okay?" I asked Jordan.

"Bella," he said softly. "You're my friend."

"Yes," I answered, "I will always be your friend."

"I don't want to go to the beach," he said with terrified eyes.

"Okay, we'll stay in here," I said and he began to relax.

We all sat around the room, not sure what to do or say when we were told food would be served and we would be called one at a time to meet with one of the doctors. I tensed when my name was called first. I walked into an office and sat in a comfortable chair facing the female Dr. Masen.

"Tell me a bit about yourself," she said with a smile.

"I'm an artist. My father is the Chief of Police in Forks, Washington. My mother taught at the same school Mr. Banner worked at and I can't be intimate with a man, I mean I think I could have with this one guy, but he got freaked out by my past and pulled away," I said as my tears began to fall.

"Do you use your art to express your pain?" she asked.

"No, I only make things that hide the pain."

She reached over and handed me a piece of paper and a pencil. "Draw me what your heart is feeling at this moment. It can be as abstract as you like. Look deeply into the pain and draw what it looks like."

I tried to clear my mind and let my hands take over. I began sketching quickly without paying attention to what was forming. When I finished I held up the paper to show two perfectly drawn eyes. One was mine with the shadow of a human form reflecting in the iris. The other eye was the most painful. It was Edward's.

Dr. Masen took the drawing and looked at it for a moment. "Honey, we'll work on getting the two parts of your heart to become whole. It will happen slowly, but I can guarantee it will happen."

I smiled and gave her a slight nod. "Can you tell me the thing that haunts you the most?" she asked with a soft voice.

I leaned in to speak in a whisper, terrified to let myself hear the words I was going to use. "I want to get away from the others. I want them to stop needing me and I want them to stop looking at me for guidance. I want to forget their names and what their faces look like. I hate them," I said with my entire body shaking badly.

"Sweetheart, those feelings are totally normal," she said to give my heart a bit of comfort. "We are going to give you all the tools to carry your own burdens. One day you will look at them and only see your friends, not other victims bound together in pain."

"We abused each other, too. We did what he told us to do and damaged each other further," I confessed.

"When someone of power forces you to do something it is not your will doing it. I am certain you can tell me many instances of helping each other and leaning on each other. You weren't victimizing each other; you were living through the abuse together as a team. None of you were strong enough to handle what was happening to you, but together you were a force strong enough to survive. It is my job to teach you how to let go of each other and survive on your own strength now."

"Is it possible?" I asked her.

"Absolutely," she smiled, and I let a tiny portion of my heart believe her.

We all took turns with the doctors and began to speak to each other as the night wore on. Mike became violently ill as we all played cards and had to leave with Dr. Cullen. Jordan was like at ice sculpture which slowly began to melt. He became more animated and less tense as we laughed and teased each other over a game of crazy eights.

When it grew late we were all assigned a room and roommates. I was put with Jordan and I noticed how angry Jessica became. Eric and Lauren were separated and they both had stunned expressions on their faces. Mike would stay with Carlisle until his withdrawals were stabilized.

Jordan and I headed to our room and got ready for bed. When I climbed in the top bunk he looked at me as said, "Thank you, Bella. I was going to hang myself, the day you told me about the trip I had planned to kill myself."

"Jordan, don't please, I can't handle anymore guilt or responsibility. I have my own pain and I need to only be your friend."

He smiled and touched my arm softly. "You can lean on me for a bit, okay?"

I felt my tears pour from my eyes and I nodded, unable to speak. I had always considered Jordan the weakest of us all, but he had just proven his strength as I finally admitted my weakness.

My cell phone rang and I was sure it would be my parents, but I was shocked when I heard Edward's voice. "How are you adjusting?" he asked.

"Good, how's Jake?"

"It will go to the jury tomorrow or the next, depending on the judge's instructions."

"I'm sure you are anxious to get home," I said trying to ignore the elephant on the phone with us.

"I'm going to Italy," he said and I gasped.

"Why?"

"I need to talk to the senior partners."

"About what?"

"My continuation with the firm."

"Did you find the benefactor?" I asked and I heard him breath heavily with the weight of something he wanted to say.

"Bella, I'm sorry," he said and I braced myself for his final blow to our semi relationship.

"I understand," I said as my tone became void of emotion.

"I couldn't use you to help me forget. Not like that, not after seeing the things I have seen. I am such a coward for telling you this way, but…."

"It's okay, Edward. Please don't say anything more. I don't have any strength at the moment and my heart is already broken, please don't shatter it."

"Bella, I'm trying to tell you I love you. I honestly tried to stay away and let Jake have you, but I can't. I love you and I want you to be with me, not him."

"You know Jake is with Leah," I said with confusion. I had no idea why he would think he would have to fight Jake for me.

"He will be free soon, and he wants you. He has so much more to offer you. I just pas…."

He stopped talking and I laughed loudly. It felt so good to find a reason to laugh today. "Sorry," he added. "I keep forgetting you don't need a guy to offer you anything."

"You are so wrong, Edward Cullen, I need you to offer me something very precious."

"It already belongs to you, love."

"I love you," I whispered and Edward knew how difficult that declaration was for me.

"I love you, too. I'll be waiting," he whispered back.

I fell asleep with hope again. But one thing kept creeping up in my mind. Why was Edward going to Italy?


	5. Chapter 5

13

The following morning I woke up to find Jordan whimpering on his bunk. I jumped down and found him against the wall as he shook with fear. His eyes found mine and he quickly called my name. I got on my knees and leaned against his bed, and gave him a wide smile.

"Good morning, Jordan. Can I ask you about something?"

He nodded and relaxed just a bit.

"Is it better to take pictures in the morning light or the evening light?"

"Morning light," he answered and moved closer to me. "But that doesn't mean you can't get some pretty pictures in the evening."

"I want a picture of the ocean while I'm here but I have no idea what angles to use."

"I'll help you," he said and finally sat on the edge of the bed.

I smiled at him and nodded toward the door, "Let's go eat breakfast."

When we walked into the main room Eric and Lauren were asleep in the recliners and I sighed loudly. I had really hoped they could make it through a night without each other, but I had to realize it was not my problem to deal with.

One of the volunteers was busy in the kitchen making food and I went to assist her. "Hi, I'm Kate," she said, and I loved how motherly she looked.

"I'm Bella, thank you for coming here. I find it amazing that you would give your time to help us."

"I've been where you are, dear. I am happy to have the opportunity to help someone else." I could think of about a million questions to ask her, but I didn't know where to start. She could read my thoughts and smiled knowingly. "We will be having group sessions and we'll talk then."

Carlisle came into the kitchen to get some coffee and he looked like shit. His eyes were bloodshot and he looked like he hadn't slept all night. I assumed Mike was having a hard time. I poured him a large mug of java and asked if I could see Mike.

He nodded and I followed him into his room. Mike was sitting in a chair with an IV in his arm and several blankets around his shivering body. He looked up with swollen eyes and I tried to smile, but my heart was hurting for him. I walked over and tightened his blankets before kissing his cheek softly.

"B…b….Bella," he chattered.

"If you're trying to get out of chores it isn't going to work," I teased and he chuckled.

"This..is…is…b…b…bad," he said as tears formed in his eyes.

I lowered my head onto his lap and said loudly, "I am so proud of you, Mike. You are going to be such a strong, amazing man."

He raised his shaking hand and placed it on my head and I could feel the trembling down to my toes. I was transported to the time Banner brought Mike and I together to his playroom. Mike talked to me the entire time about an episode of Power Rangers.

"Mike, is Billy still your favorite Power Ranger?" I asked.

"T..t…t….triceratops," he said, and I smiled.

I looked up at Carlisle and said, "Why don't you get some sleep and I'll sit with Mike."

"Bella, we have staff here. You need to focus on your own recovery."

I turned my eyes to look into Mike's and shrugged, "We'll have to talk about the Pink Ranger later."

When I left Mike's room I ran into Dr. Masen. She put her arm around my shoulder and we walked together into the main room. Breakfast was being served and I made a plate of fruit and toast. We were told we would have individual sessions in the morning and group sessions in the evening with free afternoons.

I ate my food with a room full of other people and missed Edward more than ever. I wondered what was going on in Forks and what he was planning to do in Italy. I showered and dressed before being called to my session. I walked in to find the male Dr. Masen waiting this time.

He smiled and asked me to sit. "I have to admit I am a bit shocked by the coping skills you all possess. I expected to find you in worse shape."

"Really, there's worse?" I said as I shook my head.

"Much worse," he assured me. "You all seem to be swallowed up with guilt. I've had patients disfigured and handicapped by abuse."

"So if he filmed us, would it be something he would share or just view himself?" I asked.

"Were you aware he was filming you?"

"No, I just found out. Do you think there are tapes out there with us on them?"

"A popular thing for this type of abuse is to have parties, a sort of sexual rave, and show tapes throughout the event. It is more popular in other countries. Europe is a big consumer of these things. The laws are more liberal if the participants appear of legal age."

"We did not appear of legal age, at least not at first."

"You would be surprised. This type of crime is hard to prosecute because many girls rescued from this life turn out to be over eighteen and only appear to be young children."

"I also suspect Mr. Banner was not strictly into pedophilia. His interactions with you were more as a director or producer. I assume his lust got the better of him once in awhile, but I would be willing to bet he was probably a rapist, too."

"Why?"

"He planned everything to the smallest detail. Pedophiles act when suddenly overwhelmed by their urges, rapist plan. I consider your group as unwilling participants in the making of pornographic materials, more than targets of a pedophile."

"So if someone wanted to get even for his death, would it be a lover, or a business partner, or a relative?"

"These people usually remain anonymous to other adults. They use fake names and only interact with each other behind the scenes, likely never actually meeting face to face."

I nodded like I understood but I was actually more confused. I had no clue why Edward was hired and had to hope he was following descent leads. I talked with Mr. Masen for a good hour before I realized we had covered some pretty deep stuff. He was so clinical about everything it seem relatively painless. It didn't take me long to realize the female Dr. Masen would work on emotions and her husband worked on the cerebral part.

I walked down to the beach and sat in the white sand. It would be such a romantic place to be with Edward and his scarred ass cheek entered my mind and I laughed out loud. "What's so funny?" Angela asked.

"Nothing, I was just thinking about something. How are you doing?"

"Good, Eric is being a prick and won't stay in our room. But I don't mind having it to myself," she said with a shrug.

"Can I ask you something personal?" I asked her and she gave me a wary glance. "Do you date, Ang?"

She laughed and shook her head like I was missing something. "Come on Bella, I play musical chairs with all the officers. They ride me more than their patrol cars."

I gasped and let my mouth fall open. "No sir," I demanded and she looked away so I wouldn't see her cry. Nobody would expect Angela to be promiscuous, if they suspected anyone it would be me. I chuckled at the realization I was frigid and Angela was the hot one.

She got a text and looked down at her phone. She smiled and raised the screen for me to read. "Hey sexy, FYI Black was just acquitted."

I screamed loudly and jumped up and ran toward the house. I didn't know why but I felt the urge to tell Carlisle Edward just won his first case. The door to Mike's room was slightly open and I could hear Carlisle talking on his phone and I leaned against the wall and waited for him to finish.

"I feel better knowing Emmett will be there, but you need to be very careful Edward. Jasper can only go so far and it will be a fine line to walk."

My body tensed and I wondered why Edward would be talking about anything but the trial so soon after the verdict. I moved closer to the door so I could hear more.

"What should I tell Bella? Okay son, congratulations and please be careful."

I didn't go inside the room. I headed back to the beach and when I got to the surf my phone rang. "Congratulations," I said with the happiest voice I could manage. I expected it to be Edward and I was stunned to hear Jake's voice.

"Thanks, but I was never worried. I'm sorry you got pulled into everything. I tried to get that stupid lawyer to leave you alone."

"The only thing that matters is you are free," I told him honestly.

"We have a long talk ahead of us Bella. I had a lot of time to think and I have a lot to say."

I suddenly felt sick and wanted to beg him to run home to Leah and beg her to marry him. I truly loved Jake, just like I loved Mike and Jordan. "I'm determined to get help, Jake, and it may be a long time. I'm not thinking about anything else until I'm well."

"I'm here waiting, take all the time you need. I love you, Bella."

"I'm so glad you're free, what did Edward say?"

"It was never in question. He can go grow a personality now and leave this town. He doesn't belong here, he doesn't understand our ways."

"What do you mean?" I asked in confusion.

"He asked too many questions. People don't like that."

"He's a lawyer; he's supposed to ask questions."

"Hurry home, Bella. I really need to see you," he said with a sad voice and I felt like a horrible person. I resisted the urge to tell him to go see Leah; instead I told him to enjoy being home and made an excuse to hang up.

As the day wore on my attention turned from Jake's call to the fact Edward didn't call. He talked with his father, but he never called me. By the evening session I was an emotional mess.

We gathered together as a group with our heads lowered and anxious about bringing up things we already knew about one another but practiced so hard to ignore. Jessica sat right up next to me and I forced myself to take a deep breath.

The doctors stood at the front of the room and smiled to give us a false sense of security.

"Okay, we are going to get right into the thick of it," Dr. Masen said with his deep voice. "Each will stand and we will talk about how the events made you the person you are today. Of course, Mike will remain seated."

We all laughed and looked a poor sweating Mike.

"Lauren, please stand," the female Masen instructed.

"Is she stands Eric will have to stand, too. They are fucking connected," Tyler said rudely.

"We are not a couple," Lauren protested and we all screamed in laughter.

"Yes, you are," I pointed out. "You live together and don't do one single thing with anyone else. How is that not a couple?"

"We've never had sex," Lauren said softly with her head lowered.

"We know, that's why you're here for help," Angela said softly so she wouldn't anger Lauren.

"No, you don't understand, we've NEVER had sex, ever. Eric and I were never put together," she said as her tears fell.

"Oh, my God," I whispered finally realizing what she was saying. We all turned to look at Eric and his head was down, too. They were too afraid to ruin the one thing they had going for them. I had tears in my eyes and felt like begging them to never become a couple, but I also knew how great they were together and how much they loved each other.

Angela was called up next and Jessica snorted angrily. "Angela is quiet, but don't be fooled," Jessica said. "I've walked in on her and Tyler twice now."

"I'm only doing what I was trained to do," Angela said and laughed, but none of us found it funny. She had completely devalued herself and used sex to prove she was wanted. I reached over and smacked Tyler harshly on the shoulder.

"What, she's hot, I'm not a monk."

"I don't have flashbacks or anything. I like sex, sue me," she said to defend herself.

I covered my mouth and remained quiet, hoping Angela would learn to find her worth again.

Mike's name was called and he lifted his pale face and shook his head softly. "I think my issues are pretty obvious."

"Mike," I said, "We were all fooled by your size. You were the adult who made us feel safe. We helped push you into this condition, and it wasn't fair to you."

"Bella, do you remember when I asked you on a date?" he asked with a scared voice.

"You never asked me on a date," I said in shock.

"Our junior year, I asked you if you wanted to see a movie and you said to let you know if everyone was coming. I wanted it to be just you and me. If I couldn't get one of you girls to go out with me, I knew I had no chance with others."

"Mike, I would have gone out with you, hell I'll go out with you now. I didn't know you were asking me on a date."

He smiled weakly and said, "I don't want to go out with you now, Black would kick my ass."

We all laughed and I couldn't force myself to look at Dr. Cullen.

"Jordan," Dr. Masen called and he stood slowly and walked to the front of the room.

"Jordan was always so gentle," Jessica said in just a whisper. "It meant a lot to me, I just wanted you to know."

He crossed his arms tightly around his body as if memories were threatening to pull him into pieces.

"Your pictures inspired me," I said. "I felt they made my art better."

"I don't get it," Eric said loudly. "Why do you stay in the dark, isn't that where all the nightmares are?"

"It's easier to look at what I know then admit what I don't want to know," Jordan said softly.

"What don't you want to know?" Dr. Masen pushed.

"I have nobody, Bella is my only friend," he said, and I had to bite my lip to stop the loud sobs.

"Dude, I'm your friend," Eric said emphatically. "I just never see you; you never come out of your room."

Jordan gave a slight smile and went back to his seat without being told he was done. Jessica was called up next and I felt my stomach tighten.

"You are like Bella's lap dog," Mike said in disgust.

"Shut up, Bella is the only one who understands," she threw back at him.

"Understands what?" I asked in tears. "Because I don't understand at all. Why do you cling to me so much and make me feel like I am cheating on you if I'm with a man. Are you a lesbian Jess, because I'm not, and you make me feel like l am being fucking suffocated?"

Her mouth fell open in shock and her eyes narrowed in anger. "You told me I could always lean on you, that you would do everything you could to make me feel safe."

"Jess, I'm a mess, how am I supposed to help you when I can't help myself?"

"You're not a mess, you're the only normal one out of all of us," she threw back at me and I stood in shock.

"Normal, are you insane? I can't let a man touch me without turning into a statue, except the one man I want more than my own life, but he can't decide if he wants me or not. The real kicker is I know he shouldn't pick me, he deserves someone so much better and I have to live with that every single day."

I suddenly remembered Dr. Cullen was in the room and I sat back down and covered my face. The room became silent and Jessica sat far from me and mumbled, "I'm not a lesbian, bitch."

My name was called and I cringed at the thought of standing up and letting Dr. Cullen hear all about me. I walked with my head down and stood awkwardly in front of a totally silent group. I finally raised my head to see everyone crying.

Angela finally spoke. "Bella, if you're not okay, then we have no hope. We always believed we could be better because you were okay."

"I've never been okay," I said with my own tears. "May I ask one favor from you all? Can the one with the short straw raise your hand?"

We all stared at each other as nobody's hand rose until Tyler finally spoke. "They were all long."

"What?" I asked in shock.

"I made them all the same size," he admitted. "We are already so fucked up, I wasn't going to let anyone add murderer on top of it. I just didn't know someone would really act on it."

"We didn't," I said, and they all looked up at me. "We didn't do it, someone else wanted him dead."

I felt overwhelmed with gratitude that our ridiculous plan backfired. I didn't have to carry more guilt around and was grateful Tyler thought things through better than the rest of us. My friends were safe, but Edward was still in danger.

14

I tried to call Edward several times over the next couple of weeks, but his phone was always off and he didn't return messages. I wasn't wanting him to assure me he was continuing our relationship, I just needed to give him the information I had about Banner's death. Dr. Cullen had returned home after four days, leaving Mike drug free and without fear of seizures.

I finally stopped calling Edward and focused on my own recovery. Jordan and I spent most afternoons taking pictures and working on art projects. I could see subtle changes in everyone but wasn't sure if I was changing or not.

One day as I was making a small frame from crushed shells Jordan scooted closer to me and whispered, "I think Angela is really pretty."

"She is, I just wished she knew how pretty she is on the inside," I sighed.

"Do you think if I asked her to take a walk with me, she would?"

I looked at him closely and said, "Jordan, do you only want sex from her?"

"No," he said angrily. "I only want to talk to her; I would never do something like that."

"What If she tries to get you to have sex with her, what will you do?" I asked so he would know it was a really possibility she would try to make it physical.

He looked across the beach to where she was lying in a hammock reading. "I don't think she would, she needs a guy to show her she is interesting without it. I think it is what she is really looking for."

I smiled and nudged him with my shoulder, "I think you should take her on a walk."

I watched as he walked hesitantly over to Angela. She raised her hand to shield her eyes from the sun and smiled before standing and walking off with Jordan. I found myself smiling and my thoughts were taken right to Edward.

That night at group session we were all melancholy and missing home. We were asked to write down our one fear of what was waiting for us at home. I thought long and hard and at first it seemed obvious, I feared Edward's rejection. But the deeper fears I had to acknowledge was the fact I may move on, with Jake possibly and never be able forget about Edward.

The papers were collected and we were told the following morning would be our final session. We would have a large barbeque on the beach tomorrow night and head home the next morning. I was thrilled and terrified at the same time.

I went into the bathroom and called Edward, but his phone was off as usual. I then called Jake.

"Hey, Jake," I said softly.

"God, it's great to hear your voice. How are you?"

"I'm good, I'll be leaving here in two days."

"Fantastic, I can't wait to see you."

"Are you enjoying your freedom?" I asked and wondered if he would mention Leah.

"Oh yeah," he laughed. "Um…Cullen returned the tape and the moccasins, but I didn't see the knife, maybe he already put it in your studio."

"Okay," I said, and wished he wouldn't have brought up Edward's name.

"So are you all square now?" he laughed.

"Four by four," I teased, but I knew it wasn't the truth.

"Call me when you get to Forks, no matter what time of day, okay?"

"Yeah, sure. I'll see you soon."

I hung up and let my eyes close as my mind struggled to hear Edward's voice. He was slowly fading from my memory along with the painful stuff I had worked so hard to purge. I went into my room and packed my clothes.

The following morning I had my final session. I sat in the chair across from the female Dr. Masen and tried to thank her for coming to help us.

"It was a very noble thing to do for your friends. I hope you all continue on with counseling at home. I read your paper and I think we should discuss a game plan for working on the Edward issue."

"A game plan?"

"You can't simply sit back and wonder if he is going to show up or not. You need to have closure if it is actually over. Only then will you be free to move on in peace."

"I'm supposed to show up at his office and tell him I am slightly less screwed up so he should really give us a chance?"

"No, you tell him that when you left you were both considering a relationship, and since you have changed, and he may have changed, you needed to know what his thoughts are now."

"Don't you think he's made it pretty obvious since he hasn't called or returned my calls?"

"You don't know for sure, maybe he is giving you space to work on yourself without interference. Or maybe his phone fell in a toilet," she said with a shrug and I laughed. I doubted either scenario but I owed it to myself to find out.

"Bella, you have a very tough persona to keep your vulnerabilities from showing. It isn't weak to feel things, open up your heart, it may not be Edward, but someone will fill it with love."

"Thank you," I said shyly.

"If you could write the future for each of you, what would it be?" she asked me, and I smiled at the thought. If it could only be that simple, if I could write out the best life for each of us and we could return knowing life was going to be wonderful from now on, I would happily pay every cent I had.

"Jordan and Angela would marry and travel the world as he took pictures for a national nature magazine. Mike would become a pharmacist and sell drugs legally," I laughed and she laughed with me.

"Tyler would win the lottery for having the sense to save us from ourselves. Jessica would move…far away," I joked and then quickly took it back. "No, she deserves a gentle man to teach her about love. And, lastly, I would have Eric and Lauren marry and have beautiful children."

"You forgot someone," she said, and I began going through each scenario again to see who I left out. "You left out Bella," she prompted.

"Oh, I'm kind of standing at a fork in the road and I'm not sure which path to take," I said sadly.

"Honey, there is one you want, and one you feel you should want, right?" I nodded and looked at my hands before I ended up bursting into tears. "As you stand there I want you to think about something. Which path would you take if John Banner never existed?"

Her words brought everything into perfect clarity. I would go after Edward with everything I had, if I had never been taken to that dark tunnel. My mind was keeping me stuck underground and I was no longer willing to stay there. I wanted Edward, I loved Edward, and I would fight for him.

I jumped from my chair and threw my arms around her. I had real hope for the first time in my life that true love was an option for me. That I would be capable of intimacy with the man I loved in my arms. I no longer felt like I was shattered into pieces, but only possessed cracks.

We were all hyper and giddy as we left the island. We felt strong and although we would always be linked through our common pain, we were now linked through our common hope for one another. As the plane neared Seattle we became a bit more subdued and I hoped the moment we entered Forks we wouldn't all fall apart.

I rented a van with a driver to take us home, but I also rented a car for me to make my own stop first. I drove to Edward's office and took a deep breath, hoping he wasn't in court. The same secretary greeted me and I asked for Edward.

"Did you find representation for your stalker case?" she asked and I smiled and shook my head.

"He moved away, and is no longer a worry," I lied.

She picked up her phone and told Edward he had a visitor. She placed her hand over the mouth piece and asked, "Your name?"

"Bella."

She didn't even get a chance to repeat my name but listened to him as if she was being scolded. I walked past her and opened his office door. He was sitting in the dark in front of his computer, with large dark circles under his eyes and he was terribly thin. He hung up the phone in his hand and rubbed his face which was covered in scruffy growth.

"Are you okay?" I asked him softly.

"I'm fine, just really busy on a case," he replied without looking at me.

"Can you spare five minutes?" I asked and he nodded.

I hit the lights and he groaned as he covered his eyes with his arm. "What's wrong with you, you look like shit," I said harshly.

"Is that why you're here, to insult me?" he said and put his head down on his desk.

"No, I'm here to find out why you stopped loving me. What changed your mind about me?"

"Go home, Bella. Go home to Jake, he loves you."

"Any you don't?" I asked him boldly.

He finally raised his eyes to look at me and I got to see the extent of his sick pallor and wondered if he was ill with a terminal disease. "I did this to myself, out of love for you. I thought I was strong, but I'm not. You lived a nightmare and came out so much stronger than me. I only looked at it and it sent me spiraling into hell."

"The computer files?" I asked softly. "Are you still looking at them?"

"I don't need to look at them, they are forever seared into my memory," he yelled as he pounded on his forehead. "My God, the kids and the women, they film them as if they were animals in a zoo. And you can't stop it; you find one and three more take his place."

"Why did you go to Italy, Edward?" I asked with a dry mouth, terrified he had been pulled into Banner's sick world.

"Because it isn't the sick bastards like Banner doing this shit, its corporations, and banks, and law firms protecting the almighty dollar. It is my job to make sure these films continue to exist. I protect them so sick fucks all over the world can watch you being violated in a dirt cave. That is what my job is Bella."

"Did you know all along?" I asked as my entire body began to shake.

"No, I just passed the bar, remember, I'm too stupid to understand what I got myself into."

"Why did you go to Italy?" I asked him again.

"I wanted to make a deal, I couldn't find the killer, but I was going to offer to set up an internet sting to find where the videos were going. I thought my firm would offer me protection. Jasper was going to infiltrate the pornography ring and feed us information to use the law to catch them. Imagine my surprise when I found out it is my job to use the law to protect them."

"Walk away," I said as I became dizzy and had to sit down.

"I can't," he said and put his head back down on his desk.

"Why?"

"I have to find the top rung, but all I find are the fly by night guys who are set up to be caught in sting operations. And if I happen to find the guy solely responsible I can't turn him in, I need to bargain for my life."

I tried to speak but my mouth was too dry and my tears were too thick. I wanted to offer my assistance, but there was nothing I could do. I was searching my mind for anything that would save him, our relationship was only a distant memory.

"I'm sorry," I finally whispered and he nodded with his head still down.

I stood and walked numbly to the door. I shut the light off and walked out of his office and toward the elevator. I stood there staring, without pushing the button, and felt explosive anger boiling inside me. If I let this go I would continue to be the person on that film, passed around the world for the dredges of humanity to fantasize over.

I spun around and ran back into his office. He was still lying on his arm and looked up when I threw open the door. I held out my arms and ran behind his desk pulling him to me. His arms tightened so much I thought I would choke, but I didn't care. He needed me to support him as he cried.

"You stop this right now, Edward Cullen. Don't you dare give up. They do not get to win, do you hear me? They better watch their backs, because they have no idea what's coming for them. We're coming Edward, we're coming right for them, and there is no place on this earth they can hide."

His cries turned into words as he spoke with his mouth muffled against my head, "I love you," he repeated over, and over again, until my heart finally believed him.

15

I peeked inside the packed church and looked to see if everyone was in their place. My father stepped forward and said softly, "Bella, are you sure about this?"

"Positive," I said and took hold of his arm.

The music began to play and we stepped into the aisle to begin our slow march toward the archway of flowers. I saw my mother wiping her tears and I purposely looked away. I smiled and nodded at my various friends and even laughed when I saw Angela frown and mouth the words, "White gown?"

I looked at my waiting groom, fidgeting nervously, looking gorgeous in his tux. I smiled and he winked causing me to blush and look away. I stopped to give my father a hug and kiss and took two steps to arrive at my spot.

"You look gorgeous," he whispered.

"You too," I smiled.

"So, are we really going to do this?"

"Yes, whatever it takes, remember?"

We both turned to face the minister and he gave us a cautious smile. "We are gathered here today to witness the union of Isabella Swan and Jacob Black."

It sounded…wrong. I was making a vow before God to love Jake for the rest of my life. Of course I would love Jake, but not in the sense I was vowing to love him. I was marring one man to save another one. Edward had been in such bad shape when I found him, and I honestly believe he would have ended up killing himself if I hadn't returned to his office. I wasn't about to let someone as wonderful as Edward end up as another casualty of John Banner. I had to turn to the one person I trusted to help figure out how to save Edward. I brought Edward to Forks and sat down that night with my father.

I didn't want to tell him everything at home. I felt sitting in his office would make it easier for him to hear how his daughter had been victimized for years right under his nose. Edward and I walked into the station and Charlie instantly noticed the change in Edward's appearance. He furrowed his brow and pulled up a chair for Edward to sit.

He felt embarrassed for being so weak, but I knew his strength was on the inside. I had to hope Charlie was as strong as I thought he was.

"Dad, I need your help and I had hoped you would never have to hear what I am going to tell you, I'm truly sorry," I said, and my tears began to fall when he looked at me with such worried eyes.

"Are you pregnant?" he asked, and I looked at Edward and laughed.

"No, dad, that isn't even a possibility."

He waited for my next words and I tried to choose them wisely. "Dad, I had something awful happen to me as a child. I didn't tell you, and I'm not exactly sure why. I think I was just so proud of you and didn't want to cause you a moment of pain. It didn't happen to just me, it happened to all of my friends, too."

"What are you saying, Bella?"

"It is a very good thing John Banner is dead," I said, and looked at my hands.

My father looked at Edward and he felt the need to help me tell the story. "Chief Swan, I was hired to not only defend Jake, but to find out who killed John Banner. I found out he was a very prominent supplier of pornographic material, child pornography."

My father looked back at me and I could see the pieces falling into place. He leaned back and sat with his fingers draped over his mouth as he fought the rage growing inside of him. "Dad, I've been away getting help, all of us have. But Edward is in trouble. He can't leave his firm because of what he knows. They refuse to let him quit and they still expect him to find the killer. I'm sure the next order will be for him to kill the man or woman who killed Banner. We need your help, dad."

"Are you looking for protection?" he asked Edward.

"I'm not sure you can protect me," he said sadly but my father chuckled at Edward's lack of confidence.

"I can lock your ass up in my jail and nobody would get near you."

"Do it," I said loudly and both men looked at me like I had gone crazy. "I'm serious; arrest him for possession of child pornography, until we can come up with a descent plan.

"Are you in possession of child pornography?" my father asked him outright. I could see Edward beginning to falter and there was no way he was going to tell my father what he needed to know. So I jumped in to say it for him.

"Yes, dad, he has files from Banner's computer…of me."

"Banner took pictures of you?" Charlie asked in just above a whisper.

"He did a lot more than that. He had underground chambers behind his house and he would take us there and make us do horrible things. Remember how I begged you to go easy on Mike; he is messed up because of Banner."

"Did Jake have anything to do with him?" my dad asked.

"No, he was really with me that night, trying to help me work through some of the trauma. He's been a good friend," I admitted and noticed how Edward slumped a bit.

My dad looked at Edward and said, "I need to see those files, there may be more legal action we need to take on others in the town," he said as he fought to keep his composure.

"Dad," I said to get him to look at me. "There isn't anyone else. He controlled us with shame and fear."

Charlie spun around in his chair so he would not have to look at either one of us. He kicked the wall a few times and finally grabbed his hair as he groaned in frustration. I waited, letting him feel what he needed to feel. Edward was shaking and I reached over and took hold of his hand. My dad finally turned his chair back to face us and said with tears running down his face. "Tell me what you need, and I'll do it."

"I need you to put Edward in jail and bring Eric, Mike, Tyler and Jordan in so we can all talk with Edward. There is a way out of this; we just need to figure it out."

"Someone in this town killed Banner," Edward said, "That person might hold the key to my freedom."

"If I arrest you it will affect your career, even if the charges get dropped it will be part of your record. I'm going to have you locked up in La Push. We would have more…flexibility with the legal process."

Edward nodded and I squeezed his hand before rising to give my father a big hug. "Bella, I…."

"No, dad, not now, we'll sit down and talk later, okay?"

He tightened his arms and nodded before giving me a kiss on my head. Edward and Charlie headed off to La Push and I went to round up the guys. We were all exhausted from our trip and they weren't too happy about being dragged to La Push.

We sat in the dark of Edward's small cell and began forming a plan.

"I was able to find out most of the material is sent as e-series over the internet. The only people you can catch by tracking the movement of the files are the end users, never the distributors. Credible companies set up shell corporations that act as filters. Nobody ever sees each other or talks to each other. It is all done by electronic communication pinged all over the world.

"Maybe tracking the files isn't what we should be doing," Eric suggested. "What if you track something different that is attached to the files. Like a Trojan horse."

"You want to track condoms?" Mike asked, and Edward actually laughed for the first time all day.

"The firewalls are too deep. It goes through so many levels you only catch the fronts," Edward explained.

Eric smiled as if Edward was simple, even though he did just pass the bar.

"We set up a virus that only activates when it is set off by a marker. We place it where we want it, like you company email, when the files come through with the virus it sets it off. We sit back and simply wait for it to make its way to whomever we suspect."

"What files do we use?" Tyler asked.

We all looked around at each other and knew we only had access to one set of files…us. Jordan was biting on his nails nervously and finally pulled his hand down and said, "We could edit to make it look new; change the colors and music to give it a fresher look."

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Mike said. "I don't know how to do anything with a computer."

"Eric," Edward called. "I think I have an idea how to get something on my firm's computers in Italy. Mike we would need your help, how are you at socializing with beautiful Italian women?" I glared at Edward for even noticing a beautiful woman while he was in Italy. I didn't care how hard he was trying to save his own life. "I can give you a list of corporations or banks to put markers into their systems. We could send out several files and wait for them to hit," Edward offered and I could hear the sound of hope rising in him.

We were strategizing when someone walked inside the small jailhouse and looked at me. I noticed how Edward tensed and looked at me nervously.

"Bella, what's going on?" Jake asked.

"Hi," I said and walked over to give him a hug. I was going to kiss his cheek but he turned his head and kissed me on the lips. I pulled away and said, "It's nice to see you on this side of the bars."

"How does it feel, lawyer," Jake said to Edward, "Being locked in a cage."

"It sucks," Edward said harshly.

"What's going on," Jake asked and we all looked at each other until I finally decided to tell him the truth. I trusted Jake implicitly.

"We are trying to find who killed Banner and save Edward from his firm killing him."

Jake looked at him with shock and then shook his head. "Are you putting Bella in danger?" He asked Edward.

"Charlie is in on this," Edward said to calm Jake but it only helped a little.

"Tell you what, you sit in the cage all warm and safe, and I'll protect Bella," Jake said angrily and I smacked his arm.

"Deal," Edward said, and I gasped.

"Bella, I can't have you connected to me in any way. It is bad enough my secretary saw me with you. You have to go with Jake and stay away from here."

I was standing in between Edward and Jake and I couldn't say what I wanted to say to either one of them. It was frustrating and awkward. Poor Jordan began biting his nails again and Mike looked like he could really use a drink. I finally said, "I gotta get the guys home. I'll talk to you both later."

We headed out to the car and Jake stayed to talk to Edward. I would have loved to have been a fly on the wall for that conversation. As we drove I thought about the files Edward had seen. He wasn't from Forks and wouldn't know if anybody else was on those files. I turned to Eric and asked, "Do you still have the download from Banner's computer?"

"Yeah, why?"

"I want to see them. I am looking for something in particular," I said.

"Ah, Bella, don't, you don't want to see that shit," Eric said.

"I really do, I need to see those files. Edward wouldn't know who he was looking at, and I really don't want my father to look at them."

"Want some company while you watch?" Mike asked.

"No, I need to do it alone."

"Thank God," Jordan mumbled and I smiled at him in the mirror.

I dropped them off one at a time and when I got to Eric's I waited for him to bring me out a small square device. He showed me how to hook it up to my computer and then took hold of my hand before handing it to me.

"Bella, I don't want this to make you pull away from us."

"Eric, I know when I look at this I will see all the things we could have done to help ourselves. I understand I am not the same person I was. I don't plan on watching much, I just need to run through it quickly as I look for something we can use."

He nodded and placed it in my hands. I drove home and set up my laptop on my bed and hooked up the files. I was shaking as I turned off the sound and began looking through the file names. I recognized many of the names by what he would say to us and I wrapped a blanket around me to keep myself together.

I clicked on one titled, Wild West. I looked at the dark screen and tried to make out the movement of a shadow. A dim light came on and I could see a man dragging a woman across the floor. She was limp and looked lifeless as he dumped her body onto the small mattress on the floor. I didn't recognize the room; it was too dark to see what it looked like.

I leaned closer to the screen and when the man turned around I screamed and jumped back. It was Banner and just seeing his face sickened me. It was a recent film; he looked just as he did when he was killed. I watched as he removed the clothing from the unresponsive woman. I determined she must have been drugged or unconscious.

I remembered Dr. Masen saying Banner was probably a rapist too and now I had the proof. He pushed the woman onto her back and moved her long black hair away from her face. My entire body went numb and I ran to the sink to vomit. I was crying hysterically and grabbed the tape Jake and I made. I stuck it in the machine and watched it in slow motion.

It appeared just like I recalled the night unfolding, until I suddenly noticed something. I backed it up and watched as Jake poured the wine to calm my crying from disappointment. He had something in his palm and dropped it into my glass. Jake could have left at any time that night and I wouldn't have known. I looked back at the computer, at the frozen image of Emily, and suddenly knew who killed Banner.


	6. Chapter 6

16

I was washing off my face when someone knocked on my door. I ran to open it, expecting Jake to be standing there, but it was my mother. She grabbed me into her arms and sobbed loudly. I guess my father told her. I let her hug me tightly and waited for her to back off so I could invite her inside.

She sat on my couch and shook her head as she stared at my face. "I never imagined Bella. You never showed any signs of abuse."

"I felt I did, and nobody noticed," I told her honestly.

"You were social and active in school activities. You were always going to the beach."

I winced at her unknowing words and wasn't sure if now was the time to talk about everything. I had emotions that were too close to the surface and I needed to keep things in check until I decided how to handle the information I just witnessed.

"Mom, when I was younger I didn't know who to trust. You were a teacher so I believe all teachers were good. It is hard to look back and understand our silence, but it was pain keeping us quiet too, along with shame. I'm sorry I didn't tell you."

"What can we do to help you recover from this," she asked.

"I got some help and all I need now is some space to put the things I learned into practice."

She nodded and pulled me into her arms again. I never heard the door open but when I looked up Jake was standing in the doorway. I couldn't look him in the eyes, so I turned back to my mom. "Get some sleep mom, its late."

She stood and walked over to hug Jake before telling us both good night. Jake came over to sit where she had just been and looked at me for a moment. I finally gave in and said harshly, "Did you bring anything to drug me with?"

He let his head fall back and he stared at the ceiling. "Nope, I have nothing to do tonight."

"You used me, Jake. You set me up to be your alibi and I stupidly testified to get you acquitted.

"Sam and I couldn't let it go. If we went to the cops they would find out about what happened to you guys. I didn't want to betray you."

"What if I walk into my house this instant and tell my father you did it," I said and watched for a reaction.

"Go ahead; there is nothing he can do. I was tried for the murder of John Banner and found not guilty, they can't try me again."

"So you got away with murder," I said and let my own head drop back too.

"Yep, I got away with killing that piece of shit. But now Sam has to worry until the baby is born to know if it is his or Banners."

I felt the tears stream down my face at the thought of a sliver of that man living on. I didn't know how Emily could stand the thought of possibly carrying his child. I asked the last question I wanted to know. "So Sam hired Edward?"

"Yes, he didn't realize Cullen would be given an alternate assignment by his firm. We chose him because he just passed the bar. He would be inexperienced and weak. I already had an alibi so I wasn't worried."

"Sam can be charged," I pointed out but Jake shook his head. "He knew nothing about my plan."

"Edward could give your name or Sam's to the firm."

"No, we had a conversation. He'll stay quiet if I keep you safe, but he also told me I have to give up all hope of having a life with you. I will only do that if you tell me we don't have a chance, so what is it Bella?"

I tried to think of the best way to phrase things and I finally just let it burst out of me. "I love you, Jake, as the best friend I have ever had. But I love Edward as the man I want to have a life with. Maybe it is because he isn't from here or tied to my past memories and struggles."

Jake nodded and took a moment to think before looking at me. "Okay, Edward and I came up with a plan to get you out of the middle of this. We need to marry so nobody can link you to Cullen."

"You don't have to do that," I told him. I knew Jake still had a relationship with Leah and I wasn't going to make him ruin everything just to keep me out of Edward's nightmare.

"Bella, we're going to do whatever it takes to fix this. I took Banner out and I'm going to clean up the mess I left."

"Is Edward scared?" I asked him quietly.

"Yes, this whole thing really freaked him out. I'm not sure what Charlie has in mind but it can't take too long or lawyer boy is going to crack."

I thought about how I found Edward and I was truly worried. He had a great life and a great family. People like John Banner didn't exist in his world and I pitied him and envied him at the same time. I didn't understand exactly what Eric was planning with his computer virus and assumed Edward would use the information to trade for his life. But what if they didn't make trades and continued to come after Edward.

"Hey," Jake said to me and I looked at his face, "Whatever it takes."

"Okay, whatever it takes," I repeated.

And the very next weekend I married Jacob Black. Everyone was at the wedding except Edward and Jordan. I was worried about Jordan when he dropped off the face of the earth. But his mother said he had taken a vacation and I had to hope it would end up being a good thing.

Jake took my father to the tunnel and showed him what I couldn't. I spent most evenings in Edward's cell and Jake spent nights with Leah in Edward's old room. We were living a nightmare of a different kind and Eric kept telling me he was close to releasing his virus. Mike had made contact with Heidi and was talking with her daily.

Everything was going fine until someone showed up at the jail looking for Edward. I was saying Goodnight and luckily standing outside the cell when a man dressed in a suit walked in and introduced himself as Demitri, counsel provided by Edward's firm.

I glanced back and nodded with my head toward the second cell. I left quickly and hoped my presence didn't make them suspicious. I hurried home to Jake and pounded on his door.

Leah answered and gave me a glare. "I need Jake," I said and felt my hands shaking.

She opened her mouth to say something hateful and I hurried over to where Jake was standing.

"A lawyer was sent to defend Edward," I said in a rush. "I'm sure he is supposed to try to figure everything out. You're both in danger Jake."

"I'm not worried, unless you think Cullen would hand me over to get himself out of trouble?"

"He wouldn't do that, Jake, but now I have to stay away from him," I pointed out and noticed how Jake smiled a bit. "Stop it," I said harshly.

"Eric has everything handled; Mike sent the first marker yesterday. Angela sent one to a bank in Switzerland. They opened it because it came from a police department. Four of the ten are in place and then he'll send the film."

"How much longer, I don't want the new lawyer to figure out Edward isn't really being investigated and let them know in Italy?"

"Two days, Bella. Just hold tightly for two days."

I nodded and walked back to my room just as my phone rang. It was Angela and I answered with trepidation. I felt like something ominous was coming and I was hesitant to hear it.

"Hey, Ang," I answered.

"Hi, Bella. Have you heard from Jordan?"

"No, why, are you worried?" I asked already knowing I was.

"I miss him, I guess. I was just getting to know him again and he bolted."

"I think it is a good sign, I mean he never left the house and now he leaves on a vacation by himself. I hope he comes back healthy."

"Have you talked to Jess?" she asked, and I groaned.

"No, I really need to but it feels really good to have some room to breathe."

"You need to go see her, Bella. She is really feeling awful and it would help if you talked it out."

"Yeah, you're right, I'll go see her."

I was anxious about Edward and needed a distraction, I wasn't sure Jessica was the one I needed. I drove to her house and knocked on the door. I was stunned when Tyler opened the door. He looked a bit irritated that I was standing on the doorstep and I looked past him to see Jessica in a sexy nightgown.

Our eyes locked and then grew wide in unison. I stammered awkwardly and finally began moving backwards from the door. Tyler smirked at me and I covered my mouth to keep my laughter contained. I jumped in my car and left quickly. I felt full of hope that this would have an end and we would turn out happy and fulfilled after all.

I drove home and took a long bath before falling asleep. I woke up in the middle of the night with my hands needing desperately to be creating something. I went to my studio and began working on a sculpture of Edward. I was cutting into the large block of clay when my father walked in and smiled at me.

"You're up late," I said, and he nodded. We sat quietly and he watched my hands working with purpose.

"I'm not sure where you got the talent, Bella, but I am really proud of what you create."

"Thanks, Dad. I think I get my creative ideas from mom and my ability to harness it into something tangible from you. Are you disappointed I never went to college?"

"No," he said in only a whisper and shook his head softly, "I've always been proud of you."

I knew we were talking about something so much deeper than my art and I felt the subject was easier to broach when we talked in generalities.

"Mom was always so idealistic and you were so realistic. I guess I didn't want to ruin anything for either of you."

"I worried about providing and felt a small town offered a tradeoff. I didn't make as much as a city cop, but I thought Forks would be a good place to raise kids," he said and looked away as he talked softly.

"There is no such thing as a safe place, dad, not anymore. Computers have made it easy for sick people to remain anonymous. And money has turned companies greedy for an easy dollar. Kids aren't safe when sick people can hide behind large corporations."

"So what's the answer?" he asked.

"You do the best you can."

"I can't start bending the law to fit my own definition of legal. As much as I wish I could have been the one who killed Banner, I must continue to look for his killer," he said and I wondered if he could tell I knew who it was.

"I know, dad, but I won't help you. I didn't help Edward and I won't tell you if I ever find out."

He nodded and swallowed loudly. "I heard a lawyer came to see Edward. Does he need me to really file charges?"

"I haven't talked to him. Why don't you go see him," I suggested.

"I can't. His lawyer would have to be with him if I question him."

"Who can I send?"

"Jake, he can claim Edward is still his lawyer and he needs time with him."

I smiled and turned back to my sculpture. He stood after a bit and put his hand on my shoulder. I turned and kissed his fingers lightly and he walked back to the house. I worked until I couldn't keep my eyes open any longer and finally went up to bed.

I woke up the next morning to loud knocking on my door. I tried to ignore it but it only grew louder. I finally pulled myself out of bed and crawled over to open the door. Angela was standing there with a terrified look on her face. She pushed past me and hurried into my room before turning to face me.

"What's wrong," I asked with fear.

"Bella, I got hold of Jordan," she said with a shaking voice.

"Is he okay, where is he?" I asked, and took her hands to brace myself for the answer.

"He's in Italy," she said and my heart dropped in my chest. "He met with Edward's firm."

17

I stared at Angela as I tried to understand what Jordan would be doing in Italy. Was he turning in Edward or telling them about our failed attempt to kill Banner ourselves? I couldn't think straight and Angela looked so worried.

"Did he tell you why?" I asked with a dry mouth.

"He said he knew how to fix it all, that was all he kept saying over and over again. I am so worried; Bella, Jordan isn't strong enough to fight others yet."

"Shit, I have to tell Edward," I said as I grabbed my keys and ran out the door.

I showed up at the Jail just as his lawyer arrived and I had to force myself to sit for over an hour until he left. I ran back to the small cell and Edward could see my panic. "Jordan went to Italy and talked with your firm."

"I know, Demetri just told me. He's asked for the opportunity to speak to the board tomorrow night at a meeting."

"Why?"

"I have no idea. Is he strong enough emotionally to do this?" he asked and I could tell he was very worried about all of us. I only shook my head, having no idea what Jordan had in mind.

I finally looked into Edward's eyes and said, "I'm going to Italy."

He acted like he expected the words to come out of my mouth. He didn't react at all or show any surprise. He only let out a long breath of air. "Okay, get me out of here, I'm going with you."

"No, it would be too dangerous," I gasped. The last time he went to Italy he came back as a shell and felt his future was over, I couldn't risk losing him completely.

"No, it's not. I will say they dropped the charges and I am still trying to find the killer. They won't suspect anything differently. I am not letting you go there alone, Bella."

I could tell he had his mind set and it wouldn't do any good to argue with him. I just had to figure out how to get him out of jail without Charlie knowing what I was planning to do. I was racking my brain as I struggled to come up with a plan when suddenly Edward was standing next to me. I startled and looked around the room for who it was that opened the cell.

He laughed loudly and said, "We were trying to keep others out, not me locked in."

I threw my arms around his neck and kissed him passionately. I couldn't imagine living without Edward and everything in my life was pretend until the day I could be with him again. I hoped going to Italy would bring that day closer.

We stopped by my place for my passport and some clothes and then drove to Seattle. Edward stopped by his house and only Esme was home. She looked at her son with a sense of relief. He had been locked away in a jail cell, but still looked better than how I found him three weeks ago.

"Are you going away?" she asked him as she looked at his bag.

"I'm taking Bella on a little trip," he smiled and kissed my cheek. If only it was that simple and I could take him to Italy where we could be alone and romantic. We could stay at a little bed and breakfast and block the world from our minds as we learned to be intimate without thinking of sick, vile things.

"I want to apologize for the permanent marker I put on the walls, it was a really immature thing to do," I said shamefully.

"It's okay, I was just stunned at how…detailed, your art work was," she said with a laugh and I felt my face redden with embarrassment. "And I have a nice sewing room now."

Edward rolled his eyes and kissed his mother goodbye before taking my hand and pulling me from the house.

We flew out during the night and snuggled up together to sleep until we landed in New York. We were able to watch the sun rise from the airport waiting area. Edward stared at the growing light and turned to look at me.

I smiled as he touched my face with his fingertips. "Bella, I wish I was stronger, like you."

I shook my head and took hold of his hand to kiss his fingers. "I've had years to come to terms with this, you just recently learned about it."

"My God, kids, who does this to children?" he said as tears filled his eyes.

"When it seems like just an image on a screen it is easy to remain detached. I think Jordan wants to show them he is a real person and hope they have compassion."

"They won't," Edward said quickly and I nodded. I understood the drive for money was more vital than the understanding of a young man too afraid to join the world. Jordan was trying to do something brave for the first time in his life, but he chose the wrong people to confront.

"Will they hurt him?" I asked Edward and wasn't sure I wanted to know the answer or not.

"I don't know, we just have to stop him so we don't find out."

We boarded the plane and snuggled together as we talked softly. I was so worried about Emily and even Jake. He seemed unfazed by what he did, but I knew that couldn't be the case. "Did Jake talk to you about how he did it?" I asked.

Edward nodded and refused to say anything more. I knew the stuff from the trial. Banner had been found in his bed with his throat sliced, but I didn't know if he had been sleeping or if Jake let him know it was coming. I also wasn't sure if he did it for all of Banner's victims or for only Emily.

"I think Jake's heritage helps him deal with it. He is next in line to run the tribe and Emily was hurt under his watch. He feels justified in handing out the punishment. I would never tell him he was wrong, not after what I saw," Edward said with a tight jaw.

"Edward, what was the hardest part for you to see?"

He took a deep breath and finally said, "The empty look in the eyes of all the kids. They are dead inside, Bella, and what joy could anyone find looking at children who are empty."

"Edward, look at me," I said and waited for his eyes to find mine. "I'm not dead inside anymore. You brought me to life, you did, and I love you for it."

"I'll never hurt you," he said adamantly and I chuckled.

"Sure you will, you just won't mean to do it, and that is what I will always remember."

"I haven't been able to become aroused since seeing those files," he admitted with a hushed voice and his head hung low.

I leaned my head against his and whispered, "Of course not, I've been in Brazil."

He looked up with just his eyes and I winked at him, causing him to smile. My heart pounded in my chest at the sight and I wondered if I would ever be able to affect him the way he affected me. I leaned in and kissed him softly, just barely running my lips across his. We were under a blanket so I let my hand wander up his leg and felt his hand suddenly grabbing mine.

His expression was so sad and I finally understood how Jake had felt all those years trying to help me. I tried to smile but my heart was hurting, for him, and for me, and for us.

It was late in the day when we arrived in Italy. It took forever to make it out of customs and the traffic was unbelievable. We crawled two inches and then the driver would hit his horn and we would crawl forward again. Edward kept looking at his watch and I could tell he was growing nervous.

We needed to stop Jordan from attending the meeting; it wouldn't do us any good to speak to him afterwards. I felt panic rising in me and Edward finally stated the obvious. "We're not going to make it."

"Do you think he would come at the beginning of the meeting, I mean, maybe they gave him an assigned time to show up after they all talked first?" I offered.

"Maybe," Edward said and began looking forward to see how much further we had to travel. A large truck stopped in front of us totally obscuring our view and he turned to look at me. "Can you run from here, about two miles?"

"With luggage?" I asked.

"No, we'll have the bags taken to the hotel," he said so I nodded.

We made arrangements with the driver and jumped from the cab to make our way through the congested sidewalks. I finally stepped into the roadway along the walk to avoid all the slow shoppers and we began to run. Cars were honking at us, but I ignored them as we picked up our pace.

Edward pointed to a large high rise in front of us and I began looking for any signs of Jordan. I even began calling out his name as I ran, hoping he would hear us if he didn't see us.

I felt my phone vibrate and pulled it from my pocket to see Jordan was calling. I yelled for Edward to stop and answered the phone, "Jordan, thank God, I'm in Italy and I need to see you."

"I know, I can see you," he said and I spun around to look down both walkways.

"What are you doing, you can't go into that board meeting," I said in a panic.

"Bella, you were always my friend, you were the only one who came to see me. I want you to be happy," he said with a strong voice. He no longer used the sad, soft whisper and I knew it meant he was resolute with what he had planned.

"Jordan, Angela is worried, she really likes you," I said to give him hope.

"She has plenty of men, she doesn't need me."

"You're wrong; the other men don't care about her. She deserves someone who thinks she is special." I was growing desperate with things to say and felt like he was telling me goodbye. "What are you planning to do?"

"I'm going to stop them, for you Bella, I'm giving you a chance for a great life with Edward," he said and I began to cry.

"We're already stopping them Jordan, we came up with a plan to lock them away."

"That won't stop them; it will just anger them further. I want you to live for me, Bella. Make something beautiful to remember me by, okay?"

"Jordan, no," I screamed and held my arm out for Edward to keep me standing.

"They're calling for me, I have to go," he said and hung up the phone.

I looked at the large building in front of me, standing all alone at the end of the dead end road and ran toward it. I had only gone a few paces when the ground threw me into the air as the oxygen was sucked from the area around me. A loud deafening explosion rocked my entire body and made my ears begin to ring as every sound became muffled.

I landed in the middle of the road as dust and mortar rained down on me. Car alarms began to sound and the silence slowly grew into wailing from all directions. I crawled on my hands and knees toward the crumbling building, but someone pulled me back and into their arms.

I fought the restraint as I made animal sounds, unable to form intelligible words. I was clawing at the air trying to get hold of the smoking ruble in front of me. Somebody grabbed my face and pulled me to look at him. He was talking but my ears were too damaged to hear him. I only recognized the face as Edward's.

He was talking forcefully and pulled me onto my feet before taking my hand and running in the opposite direction. I let him lead and stumbled as I tried so hard to believe this was all a dream. Jordan couldn't travel to Italy; he was home, in his room, in the darkness, waiting for me to visit him. It wasn't Jordan inside the building sending its occupants to hell where they belonged. He was good, and kind, and didn't deserve to die along with those evil people.

We made it around the corner and away from the dust before Edward stopped running and pulled me to his body. I grabbed him forcefully and buried my face in his chest as I cried out in horror. When he brought my face back with his hands I noticed the blood on his shirt. He tore off a sleeve from his clothing and dabbed my bloody nose before turning my head to check my ringing ears.

Other's begun forming a circle around us and offering assistance. When someone took hold of my head I pulled away and grabbed for Edward. He was talking and running his hand down my hair, but all I heard was the roar of the explosion. The one who took my friend, the one my friend set off, to give me my love.

18

I was lying in a tub of water as Edward knelt by my side and washed the soot off of me. I could hear much better and only a muffled, distant hum remained. I felt numb and I had used all the tears I had left in my body for Jordan. Banner took one last thing from me.

"Bella," Edward said softly, "I am so sorry. I am sorry for driving into Forks and turning your life upside down."

I looked at his eyes and shook my head, "You found it upside down; you didn't cause it."

"Tell me what you need," he said with his chin resting on the porcelain bath.

I stared at him in disbelief, wondering why he would need to even ask. I needed him. I needed him to love me, and want me, and keep me. I needed to know my friend didn't die in vain and I needed to know my marriage would not be one of pretense.

I finally found my voice and said something totally different from what I was thinking. "I need you to stop seeing the abused girl when you look at me. I don't want to be her anymore, but I see her every time I look in your eyes."

He closed his eyes to block my access to his soul and turned to lean his back against the tub. "Edward," I said with a shaky voice. "There is so much more to me, can't you see beyond the files?"

"Bella, you don't understand. It is me I am having trouble coming to terms with. I used to leer at girls in school, seeing them as nothing more than objects of my desire. In college and law school they were just a way to forget about the tedious school work. I imagined their bodies to relieve my tension without giving thought to who they were or what life gave them. It is my actions I struggle with."

I went to speak but he continued on. "I have the hardest time thinking about having a daughter someday, I want children and how can I keep her safe? It terrifies me that young men like me will come anywhere close to her."

I smiled and felt my heart jump at the mention of children. I longed to be the mother of his babies and I needed to find a way to comfort his troubled mind. "Edward, my experience was not typical; aside from being killed it was the worst scenario a parent can imagine. But look at me, I'm here, I'm alive and I want a man to love me and parent with me. I won't ever forget, but I'll learn to find the good in my life and concentrate on that. I will know what to look for in my daughter's behavior and what to teach my sons so they can be respectful."

"Is it that easy?" he asked and finally turned to look at me.

"No, but I love you enough to try. I'm a woman Edward, and I love you. I want you to love me as a man loves a woman. It didn't work with Jake because he was trying to make me desire sex, I don't want just sex, I want to give myself totally to the man I love."

He stood and began removing his clothing before joining me in the bath. I sat forward and let him scoot in behind me before resting against his chest. He held me tightly and sat his chin on my shoulder. "I was always overly sensitive, it drove my brother crazy," he confessed.

"I think you are perfect," I said with a smile.

"I think you are perfect, too," he answered and for the first time in my life I actually felt that way.

We had to add hot water often as we simply held each other in the tub, connecting in an intimate way without it being sexual. When he finally left to let me wash my hair I felt hopeful we could work out all of our problems. I entered the bedroom with a towel around my head and one around my body, to find him talking on the phone. He held up his hand for mine and I sat next to him.

"It's Eric," he mouthed and I nodded. I was glad I would not have to be the one to share the news about Jordan. I wasn't sure I could face Angela and tell her. He finally hung up and reached for the brush in my hand.

I removed the towel from my head and he brushed my hair as he spoke. "Eric got the virus sent off before the meeting. He said it hit the marker Mike sent to Heidi and was moving around to other sites."

"What are you going to do with the information?" I asked since we didn't need it to save him now.

"I'm calling the CIA," he said and I felt a knot in my throat.

"Did you tell everyone…what happened?"

"Yes," he said softly and didn't elaborate. "Why is Eric working as a logger? He has a lot of talent as a programmer."

"I'm sure it is the thought of going away to school without Lauren or maybe he doesn't believe he has talent."

Edward was quiet and I finally turned to look at him. He smiled and said, "I think I have a business proposition to make him."

"Really?"

He shrugged and went back to brushing my hair. I sat with my eyes closed and he used the blow dryer, thinking it was funny to give me huge frizzy hair. I grabbed a rubber band and pulled it into a ponytail before climbing into bed next to him.

He moved to his side and snuggled up tightly to me. "I'm sorry about Jordan," he said and I kissed his forehead.

"I know, but thank you. I am happy you are free. See if you can choose a better firm next time," I teased.

"I did just pass the bar," he added and we both laughed loudly.

I felt his arm move across my stomach and he pulled me tightly into his body. "You are so warm," he whispered and I moaned into his neck. "And soft," he added as his hand moved down the side of my thigh.

"I love the feel of your hands," I said with shallow breath.

He took hold of my leg and pulled it up to his hip and I let out a soft gasp. I felt him begin to shake and I moved my head back to see his face. His eyes were shut tightly and his breathing was very labored.

"Edward," I whispered, "Look at me."

He opened his eyes and stared at me with gentle eyes, loving eyes, wanting eyes. I nodded, giving him permission to move forward. His hand ran to my backside and lightly touched where I needed him the most. I felt his body respond and I smiled up at him.

He rolled over onto me, keeping my knee in his hand and his body shuddered when he made contact with mine. I took a deep breath as the most overwhelming feeling settled in me. I was trying to move slowly and tenderly but I was desperate in my need for him.

He was trying to remain contained and I could feel the stress it was putting on him. "God, Edward, I need you so badly," I said loudly.

He descended upon my mouth and every concern or hesitation fell away. He was consuming me and I was willingly allowing it. I couldn't focus on his hands or his body; I was overcome by the emotion of loving him so completely. We were whimpering with the sensation of love pouring from us, love we had kept controlled and at bay for absolutely no plausible reason I could remember.

We were both gasping for air, but keeping our mouths on each other's flesh for fear of pulling away. He began grunting as his body refused to be held back and the sound sent me crashing over the edge. I screamed out loudly with emotion I never knew possible. I had never experienced anything this strong and I wanted to feel this sensation forever.

He tensed and yelled out as his body gave everything it had to me. He was mine and every part of him I wanted. I never once gave a second thought to protection or future plans. What we just did was exactly what we both needed, nothing to dull the feeling or promises to add unneeded pressure.

He was panting heavily and I circled my arms around him and held on tightly. "I love you," I whispered and meant it with everything I had.

"God, Bella, I never thought it was possible to love you so deeply without worrying. You amaze me," he said and kissed me several times.

"I wish we could stay in this room forever, and leave the world behind," I said and felt tears forming in my eyes.

"It doesn't need to be this room, as long as I am with you, it doesn't matter where," he said as he stared into my eyes.

"Let's go to Brazil," I suggested. "We don't have anything pressing at home. Let's go to your dad's place and be together, just you and me."

"Anything that makes you happy," he said with a smile. "But we do have one pressing matter I would like to get a jump on."

"What?" I asked and began to worry just a bit.

"You are another man's wife," he pointed out and I laughed. "Don't laugh; I hate the thought of it."

"I'll see if I can find someone who just passed the bar to help me get an annulment," I teased and it was his turn to laugh.

We spent the entire next day in that bed and learned all about each other's bodies. By evening we were hungry and headed out to find some food. We purposefully stayed far from the exploded building and concentrated on just being together.

We sat at an outdoor café eating pasta and bread when I noticed a small fountain with the image of a boy. I looked at the face and had to shake my head to get the image of Jordan off of the stone face. I knew at that moment what I would make to honor a friend so precious he gave his life for my happiness.

Edward and I stayed away for a solid month before returning home. Life was so wonderful it was hard to imagine all the pain we had experienced. He was anxious to begin looking for a job and I was anxious to get into my studio. We flew into Seattle and spent the night at Edward's house.

The entire family gathered and I loved having so many people around. Rose gave me a tight hug and whispered in my ear, "You've come out of the forest and into the light."

"Just like turning eight," I said and she gave me a squeeze.

Carlisle caught me in the kitchen alone and took hold of my arm. "I'm sorry about Jordan. I got a call from Angela and she is doing really well," he informed me.

"How about the others?" I asked, vowing I wouldn't bring the night down by hearing bad news, but my curiosity got the better of me.

"I call Mike often and I am really proud of his determination to stay clean. I think he is going to make it," he said with a smile and I smiled along with him.

"I have a job lead for Edward, but it is in Tacoma," he said and watched for my reaction.

"It's okay," I said to comfort him. "I'll go wherever life takes him."

That night as we lay in his bed I looked into his eyes and truly saw my future. I would spend forever with this man and I wanted to make it official as soon as possible. "Edward," I said with a huge smile and he gave me a wary look.

"What?"

"Will you marry me?" I asked and waited for a response.

"Damn it, Bella, why did you ask me that?" he complained and I immediately began giving him all the reasons I wanted to be with him forever.

"No, I mean, why did you have to be the one to ask? You already have more money than me, you figured out who killed Banner, and you had to instigate sex. I wanted one thing to do, so I wasn't completely emasculated."

"Okay, forget it, I'll just stay married to Jake," I said and turned over to face away from him.

"I'll ask, so the answer is no," he said with his own pout.

"The offer was rescinded," I pointed out.

"Too late, I already said no," he huffed.

"Bite me," I said under my breath and he turned to look at me angrily.

"You act like such a dick sometimes," he said as he turned away again.

"And you act like such a pussy," I said and grabbed my pillow.

I climbed off the bed and headed downstairs to the couch. I was so angry with him and wasn't about to share his bed. I tossed and turned, never getting fully comfortable and wanted to scream from frustration. I heard someone coming down the stairs and I held perfectly still, hoping it wasn't Edward.

The light came on and I covered my face and groaned loudly. When I finally was able to tolerate the light I glanced up with squinted eyes to see Edward dressed in a tux. He was down on one knee and holding out a box with a diamond ring. My eyes shot open and I gasped in disbelief.

"I had it planned out perfectly, until you fucked it up," he said and I laughed loudly. I dove into his arms and we both fell onto the floor.

"Yes," I yelled in between the laughter and his kisses as he placed the ring on my finger.

It wasn't a conventional proposal, or one we would be able to tell our children about without filtering, but it was so perfect for us. Nothing worked the way we planned in our lives, but we still managed to fight our way to the top and come out finding love.

Banner became a distant memory after Emily's baby was born looking exactly like Sam. Leah and Jake married a month after me and Edward. Eric and Lauren are not married but they are still together and raising a baby. Jessica dated Tyler for almost a year and finally moved to San Diego and found the love of her life. Angela ended up married to Tyler and they are so perfect together.

Mike made the biggest changes and finally became the great man he was destined to be. He went to college and is now in medical school studying to be a psychiatrist. Carlisle is his biggest supporter and still keeps in touch with him.

Edward started a company with Eric to fight child pornography. Their software was purchased by the government and used all around the world. I finished my fountain and it sits proudly in front of the Forks elementary school. Jordan will be remembered by the entire student body, something beautiful, just like him.

The year we all turned thirty we gathered at the beach for a reunion of sorts. The tunnel was going to be imploded; the state bought the land and was turning it into a beach front park. We all wanted the opportunity to come to terms with the place that had plagued our dreams for all those years.

We came from all over with our families and spent the day on the beach. When the sun fell low in the sky we joined together and headed down that long tunnel to the four rooms underground. They seemed so much smaller now our spirits were so much larger. We walked through them silently, each stuck in our own memories.

When we ended up in the same room we naturally formed a circle and looked at each other. Mike smiled and said, "Listen."

We all held still and listened to the far off sound of children playing on the beach. I could hear my own son, Jordan, and his loud laughter. We instinctively held hands, one at a time, forming a circle and closed our eyes. We were transported in time, back to when we were young, before Banner entered our world and when laughter filled our lives.

We had come full circle and we're now able to find the children within we used to be. We walked down that long tunnel for the last time. We won, no longer were our lives symbols of hope then failure, trial and error, we were survivors and our lives were full of love.

THE END


End file.
